Back in September I wrote about God's amazing love. He had shown it to me tangibly many times at the National Youth Workers' convention in Sacramento. Well, He's been showing it to me lately in similar and even bigger ways.
Last night, I went to a Shane & Shane concert in San Jose with Nigel and about ten friends. It was an awesome time, as their performances/worship times always are. And at the very end of the night (get ready for the deja-vu) they started singing "How Great is Our God." And yup, right after it, they sang "It Is Well With My Soul." I thanked God for thinking of me in that way, once again, and reminding me of all He's done in my life (see God's Amazing Love, the original post in September).
But even bigger than that, God has brought me Nigel. He's already heard most of this from me, but I wanted to put it here for you all, my friends, to read as well. I ahve prayed for years for God to bring me a special man, one who I would spend my life with. One who would love me as I am, the good and bad, and care about/for me by living God's love. I had no idea God would bring me more than I asked for.
I'm a pretty simple woman, from a simple upbringing, with simple yet strong and unwavering faith and an "old-fashioned" kind of love to give. But I am also messy, stubborn, picky about certain things, and love a good intellectual debate (though debates aren't necessarily bad).
Nigel has been so constant since I met him. Even though I've had many fears, doubts, and lack of trust due to being hurt and deceived so many times in the past, he has always, from day one, said he will not give up on me and that he loves me, ALL of me, just as I am. He has shown me more grace and love in just over two months than anyone other than God ever has, and he just keeps on going. I keep thinking he's going to all of a sudden "wise up" and run, like men always have in my life. But he doesn't. He just loves me more.
I keep wondering how it is that God could love me enough to send me someone like Nigel. It doesn't make sense at all. I'm far from good, and made so many mistakes, how could I deserve this kind of blessing? Yet God assures me I do deserve it, and much more, because He loves me that much.
I know that we will face challenges, especially once we get married, and I know we will not always see eye to eye (and we don't, even know, all the time). Yet, with God as our focus and guide and the center of all we say and do, the rest of it will work out. I know it will.
My favorite tradition that we have started is going up San Damiano every Wednesday night after I'm done with Wildside to pray together and talk about our relationship. San Damiano is a Benedictine retreat center straight up the mountain from here. They allow people to come there to pray and have quiet time with God. There are no cars, no streets other than the one leading to it, and there is a view of the entire valley. I can see my church, my house, and a lot more from there. It's amazing, and since I moved here has been my favorite place.
I am very excited, and yes a little scared too, for this next season in my life. It's hard for me to entrust my heart to someone besides God. God will never, ever let me down, but people always will at times. Yet I am so very glad to have found someone to share my life with - to walk side by side through the hills valleys, and meadows, and to love. God is so good!
Friday, April 21, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
Trust Him...with ALL your heart
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6
I am posting this because I have some friends who were touched by it and I wanted to share it with more of you. I sent this out as the devotional thought part of my e-mail yesterday to my prayer team.
The above verse is one of my life verses. It first came to mean a lot to me when I was laid off from Grace the first time in January of 2003 and God taught me how to truly trust Him - for everything. Through the years since then it has been a verse I treasure in my heart through all the things God asks of me and leads me through. Right now, with all I have on my plate and the upcoming transitions I face, it again is a promise from God that I claim daily.
It's interesting - most translations of this verse, including the popular NIV, at the end read: "...and He will make your paths straight." But I stumbled on the New King James version above a couple years ago and realized that at the heart it is more true. So often I have heard people claim this verse to be saying that as long as they are following God and leaning on Him for direction, He will keep them on a straight path.
This is a great example of how when we read the Bible, we often take a verse to mean something that is just a bit of a stretch, if only because of a word choice by the translators. After now almost 2 quarters of Greek, I have a new appreciation for the Bible in its original form and how it came to be in the English form we read now. There is such a difference in meaning from the original text to our limited English language.
I know that God does not always take me on a "straight" path when I'm fully leaning on and trusting Him. My life is an ongoing testimony to that! There have been a lot of curves, blind intersections, hills, mountains, and dead ends that meant retracing some steps. Yet, I know that God alone is, and has been, in control. He knows where I'm headed and has a plan for my life. Even though it's not always easy, and the route doesn't always make sense to me, as long as I trust Him for direction He will guide me. Even if He only shows me the very next footstep and nothing further, I always know that I am taken care of, loved, and guided by Him. What a promise!
I am currently interviewing for full-time youth ministry positions. I know that God has called me to youth ministry for this next season of my life, however long it may be. Yet I'm not quite sure what the road looks like or where it's headed.
I also met this great person recently who has been blessing me in countless ways I cannot even express in words. He has been there for me to do things that I didn't know I needed or wanted. And it definitely is not what I would have expected this to look like. I'm not sure where that part of my journey is leading either, but I'm sure enjoying the travels.
I wouldn't want my path to be straight. Or smooth. There is so much I would have missed out on and so many experiences I wouldn't have had, all of which God is now using to reach and help others. What an amazing God I serve. I'm so glad He's at the helm - it's scary to think where I would be if He wasn't.
Father, I praise You for the bumps and curves. They are what have made me who I am and they are what have brought me to trust You this much. I love You.
Proverbs 3:5-6
I am posting this because I have some friends who were touched by it and I wanted to share it with more of you. I sent this out as the devotional thought part of my e-mail yesterday to my prayer team.
The above verse is one of my life verses. It first came to mean a lot to me when I was laid off from Grace the first time in January of 2003 and God taught me how to truly trust Him - for everything. Through the years since then it has been a verse I treasure in my heart through all the things God asks of me and leads me through. Right now, with all I have on my plate and the upcoming transitions I face, it again is a promise from God that I claim daily.
It's interesting - most translations of this verse, including the popular NIV, at the end read: "...and He will make your paths straight." But I stumbled on the New King James version above a couple years ago and realized that at the heart it is more true. So often I have heard people claim this verse to be saying that as long as they are following God and leaning on Him for direction, He will keep them on a straight path.
This is a great example of how when we read the Bible, we often take a verse to mean something that is just a bit of a stretch, if only because of a word choice by the translators. After now almost 2 quarters of Greek, I have a new appreciation for the Bible in its original form and how it came to be in the English form we read now. There is such a difference in meaning from the original text to our limited English language.
I know that God does not always take me on a "straight" path when I'm fully leaning on and trusting Him. My life is an ongoing testimony to that! There have been a lot of curves, blind intersections, hills, mountains, and dead ends that meant retracing some steps. Yet, I know that God alone is, and has been, in control. He knows where I'm headed and has a plan for my life. Even though it's not always easy, and the route doesn't always make sense to me, as long as I trust Him for direction He will guide me. Even if He only shows me the very next footstep and nothing further, I always know that I am taken care of, loved, and guided by Him. What a promise!
I am currently interviewing for full-time youth ministry positions. I know that God has called me to youth ministry for this next season of my life, however long it may be. Yet I'm not quite sure what the road looks like or where it's headed.
I also met this great person recently who has been blessing me in countless ways I cannot even express in words. He has been there for me to do things that I didn't know I needed or wanted. And it definitely is not what I would have expected this to look like. I'm not sure where that part of my journey is leading either, but I'm sure enjoying the travels.
I wouldn't want my path to be straight. Or smooth. There is so much I would have missed out on and so many experiences I wouldn't have had, all of which God is now using to reach and help others. What an amazing God I serve. I'm so glad He's at the helm - it's scary to think where I would be if He wasn't.
Father, I praise You for the bumps and curves. They are what have made me who I am and they are what have brought me to trust You this much. I love You.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Merry Christmas!
Me with my roommates Deana and Kathy at Union Square in San Francisco. Merry Christmas, and may God bless you as you celebrate the miracle of Jesus' birth! 
Monday, December 19, 2005
It was quite a year...
...and that would be an understatement! A lot has happened in my life in 2005, so I thought I would pause for a moment to reflect and share about some of the trials and blessings God has brought my way.
As the year began, I wrote in my blog that I had a feeling a lot of changes would be coming my way. I was sure right about that. It started right off in February at the first Grace Women's Prayer Summit. Not only was I relieved of a burden I thought would always be mine to carry, but God started speaking to me abouot California that weekend, too. My post from February "The healing that could only come from God" talks about the story in detail. In short, it changed my life and my outlook on my life. I had a confidence, peace, and unspeakable joy that I didn't know were possible when I returned home. I still do, it was that great of a milestone.
In March I found out I would once again be losing my position at Grace due to budget cuts. At the same time, I was booking a flight for a prayer conference in Sacramento. I remember asking God if He wanted me to move to CA, and I immediately knew that whatever job I took next would have me moving there. It was surreal, as I had just said to my friend Angela the year before that I could never live in CA. God really does have a sense of humor!
Between booking my flight and arriving at the conference two weeks later, I had three interviews for internships scheduled for while I was there. The first and last were good, but I knew they weren't right. The second one, however, was a perfect fit. I met with Bill and Deana in Danville, and knew I would be coming out.
I moved Memorial Day weekend, just under three weeks after finding out for sure that the position was mine if I wanted it. Kristin (bless her heart!) rode all the way across the country with me.
The rest was amazing through the year - God brought me a perfect part-time job at a little antique shop and the means to attend Fuller seminary. And I started making friends and falling in love with the Bay area.
I love it here, and though being homesick a couple times was pretty hard, I know God needs me here now and I plan to stay, at least for a while. I can't wait to see what changes 2006 is going to bring as I pursue a full-time youth ministry role.
And who knows, there may be other surprises along the way, too...
As the year began, I wrote in my blog that I had a feeling a lot of changes would be coming my way. I was sure right about that. It started right off in February at the first Grace Women's Prayer Summit. Not only was I relieved of a burden I thought would always be mine to carry, but God started speaking to me abouot California that weekend, too. My post from February "The healing that could only come from God" talks about the story in detail. In short, it changed my life and my outlook on my life. I had a confidence, peace, and unspeakable joy that I didn't know were possible when I returned home. I still do, it was that great of a milestone.
In March I found out I would once again be losing my position at Grace due to budget cuts. At the same time, I was booking a flight for a prayer conference in Sacramento. I remember asking God if He wanted me to move to CA, and I immediately knew that whatever job I took next would have me moving there. It was surreal, as I had just said to my friend Angela the year before that I could never live in CA. God really does have a sense of humor!
Between booking my flight and arriving at the conference two weeks later, I had three interviews for internships scheduled for while I was there. The first and last were good, but I knew they weren't right. The second one, however, was a perfect fit. I met with Bill and Deana in Danville, and knew I would be coming out.
I moved Memorial Day weekend, just under three weeks after finding out for sure that the position was mine if I wanted it. Kristin (bless her heart!) rode all the way across the country with me.
The rest was amazing through the year - God brought me a perfect part-time job at a little antique shop and the means to attend Fuller seminary. And I started making friends and falling in love with the Bay area.
I love it here, and though being homesick a couple times was pretty hard, I know God needs me here now and I plan to stay, at least for a while. I can't wait to see what changes 2006 is going to bring as I pursue a full-time youth ministry role.
And who knows, there may be other surprises along the way, too...
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Giving thanks
Tomorrow, once again, it is Thanksgiving. My 28th Thanksgiving. It's that time of year when everyone gets together with family (or friends or extended family) to reflect on all the blessings of the past year and thank God for them....but do they?
It seems to me that Thanksgiving has come to mean other things to most Americans than what it originally did:
It seems to me that Thanksgiving has come to mean other things to most Americans than what it originally did:
- Football games
- Decorating (though some people skip over the Thanksgiving decorating and go straight to Christmas)
- Shopping
- More shopping, for Christmas
Whatever happened to thanking God for the blessings of the past year? My dad reminded me of what November's become when he told me this story a couple weeks ago: He went to Walmart with my stepmom to get a few things. When he walked in, they were already playing Christmas music. He couldn't believe that Thanksgiving got completely skipped over, and he told my stepmom he had to leave the store.
I don't blame him. You see, my dad is a farmer. He knows the meaning of Thanksgiving: thanking God for the harvest that will allow the family to get through another year. That's what it's always been about for me, too.
Though now, as an adult, my dad's harvest doesn't affect me much anymore, as I'm earning my own way. But the meaning is still there. And I've always loved Thanksgiving. It's a time of family, friends, and "going home". And I love the simplicity of those small town Thanksgivings, with church the night before, pie and coffee as a fundraiser for the youth group afterwards, and dinner with all the relatives on Thanksgiving. My favorite part of the food is always Grandma's pies!
I am very sad that this is my first Thanksgiving that I can't go home. But it will be one with new memories nonetheless, and as it turns out, I will be learning to cook it all this year. Which I love to do anyway. And over the phone yesterday Grandma taught me how to make sour cream raisin pie, a traditions and my favorite after pumpkin. I baked one as a trial last night, and it tastes almost as good as hers! It's the second best thing to being there, I guess.
I pray you and your family have a blessed Thanksgiving, and remember to thank the One who is the giver of all good things.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Two of my 7th grade girls
This is Haley (on top) and Stephanie, two of the girls in my small group. They're so cute!!!
Some new friends
From left: Jill (a Wildside volunteer), Deana (my roommate, friend, and boss), me, and Kenzie (one of our student interns, and a real sweetheart). It was twin night at Wildside in September. Deana and I decided to dress alike, and Jill and Kenzie decided to dress like Deana and "borrowed" a bunch of stuff from her closet. It was a blast!
One of my best shots yet...
This is the Golden Gate Bridge on Labor Day 2005. I just happened to be there and catch the sunlight through the bridge. It was a beautiful day, and the first out of 5 or 6 times to the bridge that it wasn't under fog!
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
More about me...
Ok Becky, these are too fun...
FIRSTS
First best friend: Jackie (Moen) Anderson - she's still one of my closest friends, we know each other so well!! Unfortunately I don't get to see her often. :(
First kiss: Felipe Barrientos, while dancing to some 80's rock ballad
First true love: Alex Oey in high school
First piercing / tattoo: Ears when I was 7 and no tattoos
First big trip: San Antonio with my family in junior high for Dad's Army reunion
First time Skiing/Snowboarding: Sometime when I was a kid with youth group at Andes Tower Hills by Alexandria, MN (I'm not really into it)
First concert: Reba McEntire when I was a senior in high school
First Alcoholic Drink: Wine at communion
First ticket violation: Speeding when I was 17
First job: A dishwasher at Ike's Chicken Shack near Browns Valley, MN
First date: I guess officially that would be with Jon Prins when I was a sophomore in high school to a movie at the drive-in
LASTS
Last car ride: To hang out with two jr highers this afternoon
Last time you cried: Worshipping at the National Youth Workers' Convention with David Crowder leading worship.
Last movie watched: A free preview screening of "Dreamer", the new movie with Dakota Fanning coming out in a couple months. It was so awesome and sweet!!
Last love: Jesus
Last temptation: To gossip
Last item bought: Groceries at Trader Joe's an hour ago
Last annoyance: Having my chair at work get "stolen", again, by someone who likes it better than his
Last alcoholic drink: I can't remember - it's been at least a few months. Probably a glass of wine though.
Last Concert: A lot last weekend at the NYWC in Sacramento - the best were David Crowder, Third Day, and Shane and Shane
Last phone call: Stephanie, one of the 7th graders in my small group
Last time at the mall: I can't remember - a couple months ago
NOW
Current Best Friend: I don't really have a "best" friend, but I'd have to say the two that are my oldest and closest friends are Jackie and Misty.
Current Car: 2002 Chevy Cavalier LS Coupe
Current love: Learning Greek - it's sure been fascinating to study the New Testament in Greek!!
Current drink: Grande Americano with 3 pumps of Pumpkin Spice syrup and a little cream
Current activity: Running around with jr highers
Current annoyance: My back being a mess and not being able to afford a chiropractor
Current mood: Calm and content
FIRSTS
First best friend: Jackie (Moen) Anderson - she's still one of my closest friends, we know each other so well!! Unfortunately I don't get to see her often. :(
First kiss: Felipe Barrientos, while dancing to some 80's rock ballad
First true love: Alex Oey in high school
First piercing / tattoo: Ears when I was 7 and no tattoos
First big trip: San Antonio with my family in junior high for Dad's Army reunion
First time Skiing/Snowboarding: Sometime when I was a kid with youth group at Andes Tower Hills by Alexandria, MN (I'm not really into it)
First concert: Reba McEntire when I was a senior in high school
First Alcoholic Drink: Wine at communion
First ticket violation: Speeding when I was 17
First job: A dishwasher at Ike's Chicken Shack near Browns Valley, MN
First date: I guess officially that would be with Jon Prins when I was a sophomore in high school to a movie at the drive-in
LASTS
Last car ride: To hang out with two jr highers this afternoon
Last time you cried: Worshipping at the National Youth Workers' Convention with David Crowder leading worship.
Last movie watched: A free preview screening of "Dreamer", the new movie with Dakota Fanning coming out in a couple months. It was so awesome and sweet!!
Last love: Jesus
Last temptation: To gossip
Last item bought: Groceries at Trader Joe's an hour ago
Last annoyance: Having my chair at work get "stolen", again, by someone who likes it better than his
Last alcoholic drink: I can't remember - it's been at least a few months. Probably a glass of wine though.
Last Concert: A lot last weekend at the NYWC in Sacramento - the best were David Crowder, Third Day, and Shane and Shane
Last phone call: Stephanie, one of the 7th graders in my small group
Last time at the mall: I can't remember - a couple months ago
NOW
Current Best Friend: I don't really have a "best" friend, but I'd have to say the two that are my oldest and closest friends are Jackie and Misty.
Current Car: 2002 Chevy Cavalier LS Coupe
Current love: Learning Greek - it's sure been fascinating to study the New Testament in Greek!!
Current drink: Grande Americano with 3 pumps of Pumpkin Spice syrup and a little cream
Current activity: Running around with jr highers
Current annoyance: My back being a mess and not being able to afford a chiropractor
Current mood: Calm and content
Fives...
I will give credit where credit is due..my friend Becky had this on her blog, and I liked the idea. So here's mine! (Thanks Becky...great one!)
What I was doing 5 years ago: Wow, 2000...Well, I was working at a software company that got bought out by Microsoft, and then went to work at a benefits company in another suburb of Minneapolis. I met my birth mother and sister and niece, and then a bunch of other blood relatives. My dad got married to my stepmom (this was the year after my mom died). I moved from Inver Grove Heights to Plymouth.
5 things I did yesterday (Monday) :
1. Worked at the antique shop
2. Helped rearrange the store after a shipment of "new" furniture arrived
3. Studied for my weekly Greek quiz
4. Went to Greek class and took the quiz (which I did really well on!)
5. Greeted my new roomie Amanda as she moved some stuff in
5 songs I know all the words to:
1. Jesus Loves Me
2. The Dance
3. Here is Our King (the new Crowder song - it's awesome! It was especially awesome hearing him lead it.)
4. Amazing Grace
5. It Is Well With My Soul
5 things I would do with 100 million dollars:
1. Pay off all of my debt
2. Buy a house in San Francisco with a view of the Bay
3. Help a couple ministries that are close to my heart
4. Pay off my brother's house (the one I grew up in)
5. Save what's left and continue to do ministry
5 places I would go:
1. Australia
2. Italy (my favorite place!!!)
3. Costa Rica
4. Hawaii
5. Alaska
5 things I would never wear:
(this one was hard - I stuck with most of Becky's because I agree!)
1. Anything with sequins
2. Leather Pants
3. Tube Top
4. A mini skirt
5. String bikini
5 favorite tv shows:
(these are my faves, but I don't watch tv at all right now)
1. Survivor
2. 7th Heaven
3. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
4. Friends (reruns now...sad)
5. The Amazing Race
5 great joys:
1. A sunset over the Pacific
2. My nephews
3. Chai tea
4. Reading a book anywhere outdoors (it happens a lot more since I moved to California!)
5. Talking to my dad
5 favorite toys:
1. Tonka truck
2. Cabbage Patch Kids
3. My Little Pony
4. Little People (I had SO many of them!!!)
5. A bike - I rode a lot of miles every day in the summer when I was young
5 current reads:
1. God as Trinity
2. The Bible
3. Basics of Biblical Greek
4. Captivating
5. Youth Ministry on Your Knees
5 things I want to be:
1. (someday) A supporting wife to the love of my life, he's still out there somewhere
2. A great mom
3. A Christian so in love with Jesus that the love overflows to all around
4. A sold-out servant of my Lord forever, in whatever capacity He calls me to
5. Someone who made a difference in people's lives
What I was doing 5 years ago: Wow, 2000...Well, I was working at a software company that got bought out by Microsoft, and then went to work at a benefits company in another suburb of Minneapolis. I met my birth mother and sister and niece, and then a bunch of other blood relatives. My dad got married to my stepmom (this was the year after my mom died). I moved from Inver Grove Heights to Plymouth.
5 things I did yesterday (Monday) :
1. Worked at the antique shop
2. Helped rearrange the store after a shipment of "new" furniture arrived
3. Studied for my weekly Greek quiz
4. Went to Greek class and took the quiz (which I did really well on!)
5. Greeted my new roomie Amanda as she moved some stuff in
5 songs I know all the words to:
1. Jesus Loves Me
2. The Dance
3. Here is Our King (the new Crowder song - it's awesome! It was especially awesome hearing him lead it.)
4. Amazing Grace
5. It Is Well With My Soul
5 things I would do with 100 million dollars:
1. Pay off all of my debt
2. Buy a house in San Francisco with a view of the Bay
3. Help a couple ministries that are close to my heart
4. Pay off my brother's house (the one I grew up in)
5. Save what's left and continue to do ministry
5 places I would go:
1. Australia
2. Italy (my favorite place!!!)
3. Costa Rica
4. Hawaii
5. Alaska
5 things I would never wear:
(this one was hard - I stuck with most of Becky's because I agree!)
1. Anything with sequins
2. Leather Pants
3. Tube Top
4. A mini skirt
5. String bikini
5 favorite tv shows:
(these are my faves, but I don't watch tv at all right now)
1. Survivor
2. 7th Heaven
3. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
4. Friends (reruns now...sad)
5. The Amazing Race
5 great joys:
1. A sunset over the Pacific
2. My nephews
3. Chai tea
4. Reading a book anywhere outdoors (it happens a lot more since I moved to California!)
5. Talking to my dad
5 favorite toys:
1. Tonka truck
2. Cabbage Patch Kids
3. My Little Pony
4. Little People (I had SO many of them!!!)
5. A bike - I rode a lot of miles every day in the summer when I was young
5 current reads:
1. God as Trinity
2. The Bible
3. Basics of Biblical Greek
4. Captivating
5. Youth Ministry on Your Knees
5 things I want to be:
1. (someday) A supporting wife to the love of my life, he's still out there somewhere
2. A great mom
3. A Christian so in love with Jesus that the love overflows to all around
4. A sold-out servant of my Lord forever, in whatever capacity He calls me to
5. Someone who made a difference in people's lives
Friday, September 30, 2005
God's amazing love...
You know, sometimes God just touches us when we least expected it. Ok, that’s too soft of a word. Sometimes He blindsides us with something we thought we’d long ago let go of and dealt with. That happened to me today, in a big way.
This is a little more transparent than I sometimes can be when I write knowing others will read it. I usually save this stuff for my journal. However, I forgot to bring my journal and decided this is worth sharing. I love the ways God finds us and meets us in ways we could never expect.
I am at the Youth Specialties National Youth Worker Convention in Sacramento. It’s been a phenomenal two days, and I’m not even halfway through the convention yet. I spent all day yesterday and all morning today (16 hours total) in an Intro to Youth Ministries class here at the convention through Fuller Seminary. I could have taken it for credit (I started in the Masters of Divinity Program at Fuller this quarter). But I’m already taking Greek and Systematic Theology 1. So, I’m auditing the class instead. It’s awesome, but I’ll save that for another time.
Basically, my brain was on overload after that. So today, after the first general session and an awesome time of worship led by Chris Tomlin, I decided not to attend a seminar and spent some time with my Lord.
They have this thing here called the Labyrinth. Most of you know what a labyrinth looks like - kind of like a maze. This one is life-size, and they set it up with prayer stations throughout. When you walk in they hand you an MP3 player with a soundtrack to lead you through the labyrinth.
Now, I wasn’t a huge fan of the music on the soundtrack, or the soothing voice walking me through the stations. But God definitely met me there. I was at a station, sitting on the floor in front of a mirror. The topic at that particular station was self, and it was about seeing yourself as God sees you. It was so amazing. I had a really hard time with that task. The soundtrack talked about how God loves me, sees me as beautiful, etc. What I didn’t realize was how much I’ve been struggling with how I look lately. It said to stare at yourself in the mirror until you saw yourself as God sees you. I don’t think I really reached that point, but God still spoke to me there in making me aware of my weakness.
I moved on, and there was the station called "Holy Place". There were pillows all around, and bread and wine (or juice, to appease all denominations) so you could commune with God. There were also Bibles, so I picked one up. I opened it to 1 Corinthians 13. Yup, the love chapter.
I savored every word, letting God speak through them. The phrase that God really spoke through was "Love never fails". It’s in verse 4. I thought about that, pondered it, and God said, "That is true. Love never fails. My love for you never fails. Neither will your love for others ever fail. Love is the way to reach people. Love them. Love your friends in new ways. Love your students like you haven’t yet. Love yourself, too." I’m glad I skipped the breakout session.
That’s what I needed today.
I reflected on what God had revealed to me, and realized that although I had once beat the self-esteem issue with my appearance, I happen to have moved to a very superficial and appearance-driven town. Danville is full of upper class people, mostly tan and thin, with perfectly highlighted and styled hair and all the latest clothes. I can’t compete with that, nor do I really want to. Yet it soaked in and I started to think less of myself.
Back to today’s story. Because God loves us He often tells us the same message in multiple ways to make sure we hear Him. I went to a dinner for women in youth ministry. As a gift for coming to the dinner, we were each given a brand new "True Identity" TNIV Bible. And there was this little description on the front of the Bible’s packaging that said, "The Bible that helps you see yourself as God sees you".
I guess God wanted to make sure I was hearing Him loud and clear. I told this story to Lisa, one of our jr high volunteers who’s with us at the convention. Then we headed into General Session #2. At the beginning, a singer named Kendall Payne got up to share her talent with us. Her second song she introduced with a story about her and a friend who had been struggling with her appearance and not feeling up to "supermodel" caliber. Huh. There it was again. And she proceeded to sing a song of hers called "Supermodel" in which she talks about being tired of being compared to supermodels. I looked at Lisa, and we exchanged a knowing smile.
Yeah, and it still didn’t end there. If you go back in my posts to February of this year, you’ll find one titled "The healing that could only come from God". In there I talk about an amazing experience at the Grace Women’s Prayer Summit, where God healed me of something I didn’t know I’d been carrying around and could let go of. The old hymn "It Is Well With My Soul" became a favorite that weekend because I could sing it and really mean it now. And that Sunday at Fresh Encounter, a slide show was played of pictures from the Summit, and the song they put it to was Chris Tomlin’s "How Great Is Our God". Those two songs always remind me of that weekend and God’s healing power in my life.
Chris Tomlin tonight during worship at the very end of the session started singing "It Is Well With My Soul". And he transitioned right from it into "How Great Is Our God". Yes, he really did do both those songs like that. What a gift from God. God is so amazing to me. He loves me so much, and He showed me today in all those ways. Wow. That’s the best I can do to describe my amazement. I'm totally speechless at God's amazing love.
This is a little more transparent than I sometimes can be when I write knowing others will read it. I usually save this stuff for my journal. However, I forgot to bring my journal and decided this is worth sharing. I love the ways God finds us and meets us in ways we could never expect.
I am at the Youth Specialties National Youth Worker Convention in Sacramento. It’s been a phenomenal two days, and I’m not even halfway through the convention yet. I spent all day yesterday and all morning today (16 hours total) in an Intro to Youth Ministries class here at the convention through Fuller Seminary. I could have taken it for credit (I started in the Masters of Divinity Program at Fuller this quarter). But I’m already taking Greek and Systematic Theology 1. So, I’m auditing the class instead. It’s awesome, but I’ll save that for another time.
Basically, my brain was on overload after that. So today, after the first general session and an awesome time of worship led by Chris Tomlin, I decided not to attend a seminar and spent some time with my Lord.
They have this thing here called the Labyrinth. Most of you know what a labyrinth looks like - kind of like a maze. This one is life-size, and they set it up with prayer stations throughout. When you walk in they hand you an MP3 player with a soundtrack to lead you through the labyrinth.
Now, I wasn’t a huge fan of the music on the soundtrack, or the soothing voice walking me through the stations. But God definitely met me there. I was at a station, sitting on the floor in front of a mirror. The topic at that particular station was self, and it was about seeing yourself as God sees you. It was so amazing. I had a really hard time with that task. The soundtrack talked about how God loves me, sees me as beautiful, etc. What I didn’t realize was how much I’ve been struggling with how I look lately. It said to stare at yourself in the mirror until you saw yourself as God sees you. I don’t think I really reached that point, but God still spoke to me there in making me aware of my weakness.
I moved on, and there was the station called "Holy Place". There were pillows all around, and bread and wine (or juice, to appease all denominations) so you could commune with God. There were also Bibles, so I picked one up. I opened it to 1 Corinthians 13. Yup, the love chapter.
I savored every word, letting God speak through them. The phrase that God really spoke through was "Love never fails". It’s in verse 4. I thought about that, pondered it, and God said, "That is true. Love never fails. My love for you never fails. Neither will your love for others ever fail. Love is the way to reach people. Love them. Love your friends in new ways. Love your students like you haven’t yet. Love yourself, too." I’m glad I skipped the breakout session.
That’s what I needed today.
I reflected on what God had revealed to me, and realized that although I had once beat the self-esteem issue with my appearance, I happen to have moved to a very superficial and appearance-driven town. Danville is full of upper class people, mostly tan and thin, with perfectly highlighted and styled hair and all the latest clothes. I can’t compete with that, nor do I really want to. Yet it soaked in and I started to think less of myself.
Back to today’s story. Because God loves us He often tells us the same message in multiple ways to make sure we hear Him. I went to a dinner for women in youth ministry. As a gift for coming to the dinner, we were each given a brand new "True Identity" TNIV Bible. And there was this little description on the front of the Bible’s packaging that said, "The Bible that helps you see yourself as God sees you".
I guess God wanted to make sure I was hearing Him loud and clear. I told this story to Lisa, one of our jr high volunteers who’s with us at the convention. Then we headed into General Session #2. At the beginning, a singer named Kendall Payne got up to share her talent with us. Her second song she introduced with a story about her and a friend who had been struggling with her appearance and not feeling up to "supermodel" caliber. Huh. There it was again. And she proceeded to sing a song of hers called "Supermodel" in which she talks about being tired of being compared to supermodels. I looked at Lisa, and we exchanged a knowing smile.
Yeah, and it still didn’t end there. If you go back in my posts to February of this year, you’ll find one titled "The healing that could only come from God". In there I talk about an amazing experience at the Grace Women’s Prayer Summit, where God healed me of something I didn’t know I’d been carrying around and could let go of. The old hymn "It Is Well With My Soul" became a favorite that weekend because I could sing it and really mean it now. And that Sunday at Fresh Encounter, a slide show was played of pictures from the Summit, and the song they put it to was Chris Tomlin’s "How Great Is Our God". Those two songs always remind me of that weekend and God’s healing power in my life.
Chris Tomlin tonight during worship at the very end of the session started singing "It Is Well With My Soul". And he transitioned right from it into "How Great Is Our God". Yes, he really did do both those songs like that. What a gift from God. God is so amazing to me. He loves me so much, and He showed me today in all those ways. Wow. That’s the best I can do to describe my amazement. I'm totally speechless at God's amazing love.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
In a sentimental mood...
Here I am in northern California, where it's beautiful, sunny, and you can never run out of things to do within a 2 hour driving distance of here. Yet, somehow, I find myself currently longing for more.
I settled in pretty quickly, and now have my weekly routine down. Work at the church on Sundays, Tuesdays, and after 2 pm on Wednesdays. Work at Sweet Magnolia on Mondays, Wednesdays until 2, and Thursday through Saturday (at least while the owner is on maternity leave).
So basically I have evenings free. It would sure be nice to have friends to spend some of that time with, however. I love all the people I work with at CPC, but all except for one are in their early 20s and in a growth period I'd just as soon forget. They love going out dancing and things that just don't excite me anymore. I long for my friends back in Minnesota who loved to host dinner parties, have game nights, and just hang out over a cup of coffee or a walk around a lake.
Right now I would love to have a friend to talk to about what's going on in my life - someone just to reminisce with, pray with, and who doesn't need my life story to understand why God has me where I am and where I'm headed. It would be wonderful to pull up an outside table at Starbucks to talk for a couple hours.
Instead, I will head to the house I'm housesitting at to spend the evening alone, maybe talking to the cat. Or maybe I'll go sit at Starbucks and read a book, or head to the mall to wander a bit, or go for a walk up San Damiano for a wonderful view of the valley. And while all those are great options, and will entertain me for the evening, I really want a hug and a shoulder to cry on.
In due time, I guess, I will form deeper friendships here, too. And for now, I'll continue on in the fight, knowing that I am doing what God wants me to be doing right now and ultimately that's the only thing that matters anyway. But I can't help longing for a hug and a good friend to have a cup of coffee with when I'm having a difficult day.
So I pray for God to keep lifting my head, to keep my focus on the prize, and not get discouraged. For He is with me even when I am lonely, holds me when I cry, and rejoices when I smile as I remember how much He loves me.
I settled in pretty quickly, and now have my weekly routine down. Work at the church on Sundays, Tuesdays, and after 2 pm on Wednesdays. Work at Sweet Magnolia on Mondays, Wednesdays until 2, and Thursday through Saturday (at least while the owner is on maternity leave).
So basically I have evenings free. It would sure be nice to have friends to spend some of that time with, however. I love all the people I work with at CPC, but all except for one are in their early 20s and in a growth period I'd just as soon forget. They love going out dancing and things that just don't excite me anymore. I long for my friends back in Minnesota who loved to host dinner parties, have game nights, and just hang out over a cup of coffee or a walk around a lake.
Right now I would love to have a friend to talk to about what's going on in my life - someone just to reminisce with, pray with, and who doesn't need my life story to understand why God has me where I am and where I'm headed. It would be wonderful to pull up an outside table at Starbucks to talk for a couple hours.
Instead, I will head to the house I'm housesitting at to spend the evening alone, maybe talking to the cat. Or maybe I'll go sit at Starbucks and read a book, or head to the mall to wander a bit, or go for a walk up San Damiano for a wonderful view of the valley. And while all those are great options, and will entertain me for the evening, I really want a hug and a shoulder to cry on.
In due time, I guess, I will form deeper friendships here, too. And for now, I'll continue on in the fight, knowing that I am doing what God wants me to be doing right now and ultimately that's the only thing that matters anyway. But I can't help longing for a hug and a good friend to have a cup of coffee with when I'm having a difficult day.
So I pray for God to keep lifting my head, to keep my focus on the prize, and not get discouraged. For He is with me even when I am lonely, holds me when I cry, and rejoices when I smile as I remember how much He loves me.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Life these days...
Yes, it has been a while since I posted anything out here. I've been settling into my life in Danville, CA, and haven't made time for it. But I want to throw some things out here for those who do check this regularly.
God has truly blessed my move to California. But even in my obedience and trust in Him, the enemy always has to try to get me. I have faced multiple problems with my car including a $600 repair job, had to learn how to deal with the heat instead of always relying on air conditioning, and my laptop was stolen from the church. Plus, there are more spiders here than I've seen anywhere else in my life, and those who know me know how much I detest them!
Even though I meet people easily and can get along with almost anyone, I really miss the comfort of old friends who know me well. I miss the numerous daily hugs I'd get from friends and other co-laborers for the Kingdom at Grace. I miss being able to meet a friend for coffee to chat when I've had a bad day. I miss not having to tell the big pieces of my history just so people will understand where I come from and what my perspective on life and its brevity is. I miss having lunch at the cafe at Grace with the staff. I miss the campfire mocha at Caribou Coffee. And most of all, I miss Fresh Encounter at Grace and being able to fuel up for the battles of ministry be seeking God alongside others in corporate, worship-based prayer.
Yet there are so many good things here in Danville, too: people honk at me almost daily as I'm walking to work because they recognize me, it's always sunny, the ocean is a short drive away, the landscape is breathtaking, I don't have to commute at all, I have four great and fabulously entertaining roommates, I have an awesome small group of 7th grade girls who are so cute I could cry, I know almost all my neighbors because most of them work at or at least attend CPC<>
Life is about change. And when you're truly submitted to God's working in your life and willing to do whatever He would lead you to, you're bound to move and change even more. I am so glad that no matter what is going on, what church I attend, where I live, or who I spend time with, God is in control of my life and I can always count on Him. He knows when I'll sleep and when I'll wake, who I'll meet tomorrow for the first time, what I'll eat, and ultimately where my life is going. And I trust Him.
My life verse says it all:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
Amen.
God has truly blessed my move to California. But even in my obedience and trust in Him, the enemy always has to try to get me. I have faced multiple problems with my car including a $600 repair job, had to learn how to deal with the heat instead of always relying on air conditioning, and my laptop was stolen from the church. Plus, there are more spiders here than I've seen anywhere else in my life, and those who know me know how much I detest them!
Even though I meet people easily and can get along with almost anyone, I really miss the comfort of old friends who know me well. I miss the numerous daily hugs I'd get from friends and other co-laborers for the Kingdom at Grace. I miss being able to meet a friend for coffee to chat when I've had a bad day. I miss not having to tell the big pieces of my history just so people will understand where I come from and what my perspective on life and its brevity is. I miss having lunch at the cafe at Grace with the staff. I miss the campfire mocha at Caribou Coffee. And most of all, I miss Fresh Encounter at Grace and being able to fuel up for the battles of ministry be seeking God alongside others in corporate, worship-based prayer.
Yet there are so many good things here in Danville, too: people honk at me almost daily as I'm walking to work because they recognize me, it's always sunny, the ocean is a short drive away, the landscape is breathtaking, I don't have to commute at all, I have four great and fabulously entertaining roommates, I have an awesome small group of 7th grade girls who are so cute I could cry, I know almost all my neighbors because most of them work at or at least attend CPC<>
Life is about change. And when you're truly submitted to God's working in your life and willing to do whatever He would lead you to, you're bound to move and change even more. I am so glad that no matter what is going on, what church I attend, where I live, or who I spend time with, God is in control of my life and I can always count on Him. He knows when I'll sleep and when I'll wake, who I'll meet tomorrow for the first time, what I'll eat, and ultimately where my life is going. And I trust Him.
My life verse says it all:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
Amen.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
He's always been faithful
It is highly likely that I will write many times here about a song that touches my heart. As I’m winding down this evening, I’m listening to a song by Sara Groves called “He’s Always Been Faithful”. It’s a wonderful song, and is similar to “Great Is Thy Faithfulness,” with some bits of that great old hymn actually sprinkled in. First, the lyrics:
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me…
Morning by morning I wake up to find
The power and comfort of God’s hand in mine
Season by season I watch Him amazed
In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways
All I have need of His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me
I can’t remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain
I can’t remember one single regret
In serving God only and trusting his hand
All I have need of His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me
(“Great is Thy Faithfulness” piano/cello interlude)
This is my anthem, this is my song
The theme of the stories I’ve heard for so long
God has been faithful, He will be again
His loving compassion, it knows no end
All I have need of His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful….
He’s always been faithful to me
I am finding more and more often lately that God’s work in the world and my life brings me to tears. God is holding my hand, all the time. How cool is that? The God of the universe, who created everything I see, holds my hand and walks beside me every day. That image brings tears to my eyes even now. Mostly because I could not imagine having gone through all I have without Him beside me, and I can now longer imagine what it would be like not to have Him there, either.
God’s ways are truly perfect. He knows everything about my life, beginning to end. My favorite analogy for this is that my life is a parade. I can only see one part of it at a time, but He sees the whole parade. He knows where it started, He knows where it’s going, and He knows when it ends. Plus, He’s in control of it. That alone gives me an immense amount of comfort.
I really can’t think of one trial or pain in my entire life, even prior to knowing God, that isn’t now being used for my good. I lost my mom and birth mother to cancer, and God has used that multiple times to minister to others who have lost loved ones or who need to see someone who’s made it through such a trial. I was laid off three times in two years, yet I can testify to exactly how God was working through each one of them specifically to get me to where I am now. I’ve moved 18 times since high school (that’s been ten years!), and I can see God’s hand in each and every move and the reasons He needed me to be where I was each and every time.
I have no regrets, and never will, if I live all of my life for God alone, trusting that His hand is always in mine and providing all I need. I don’t regret and choices that brought me pain, because they’ve helped me grow, too. I have no regrets for any of the sacrifices I’ve had to make in friendships, money, or possessions to serve God to my fullest ability. And I have no regrets in the decisions I’ve made that have taken me far from family and friends to be able to serve my Lord and follow His calling. I want to give my all to Him and tell of His great love because of all He sacrificed for me and all He brought me through to get me here.
God will always provide all I need. He’s been faithful before, and will be again. When I needed a home (three times) He provided loving friends to take me in. When I’ve needed food to eat it’s always been there. When I’ve needed money just to stay above water, He’s provided it in miraculous ways. And He always will provide what I need. I have no doubts about that, and no fear. He is the God of the universe, but He’s also my Father and my Provider and Friend.
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me…
Morning by morning I wake up to find
The power and comfort of God’s hand in mine
Season by season I watch Him amazed
In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways
All I have need of His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me
I can’t remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain
I can’t remember one single regret
In serving God only and trusting his hand
All I have need of His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me
(“Great is Thy Faithfulness” piano/cello interlude)
This is my anthem, this is my song
The theme of the stories I’ve heard for so long
God has been faithful, He will be again
His loving compassion, it knows no end
All I have need of His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful….
He’s always been faithful to me
I am finding more and more often lately that God’s work in the world and my life brings me to tears. God is holding my hand, all the time. How cool is that? The God of the universe, who created everything I see, holds my hand and walks beside me every day. That image brings tears to my eyes even now. Mostly because I could not imagine having gone through all I have without Him beside me, and I can now longer imagine what it would be like not to have Him there, either.
God’s ways are truly perfect. He knows everything about my life, beginning to end. My favorite analogy for this is that my life is a parade. I can only see one part of it at a time, but He sees the whole parade. He knows where it started, He knows where it’s going, and He knows when it ends. Plus, He’s in control of it. That alone gives me an immense amount of comfort.
I really can’t think of one trial or pain in my entire life, even prior to knowing God, that isn’t now being used for my good. I lost my mom and birth mother to cancer, and God has used that multiple times to minister to others who have lost loved ones or who need to see someone who’s made it through such a trial. I was laid off three times in two years, yet I can testify to exactly how God was working through each one of them specifically to get me to where I am now. I’ve moved 18 times since high school (that’s been ten years!), and I can see God’s hand in each and every move and the reasons He needed me to be where I was each and every time.
I have no regrets, and never will, if I live all of my life for God alone, trusting that His hand is always in mine and providing all I need. I don’t regret and choices that brought me pain, because they’ve helped me grow, too. I have no regrets for any of the sacrifices I’ve had to make in friendships, money, or possessions to serve God to my fullest ability. And I have no regrets in the decisions I’ve made that have taken me far from family and friends to be able to serve my Lord and follow His calling. I want to give my all to Him and tell of His great love because of all He sacrificed for me and all He brought me through to get me here.
God will always provide all I need. He’s been faithful before, and will be again. When I needed a home (three times) He provided loving friends to take me in. When I’ve needed food to eat it’s always been there. When I’ve needed money just to stay above water, He’s provided it in miraculous ways. And He always will provide what I need. I have no doubts about that, and no fear. He is the God of the universe, but He’s also my Father and my Provider and Friend.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
I made it!
I now live in Danville, California. California! That is a place I go on vacation, not a place I live! It still blows me away that God would bring me here.
At the present moment, I’m sitting at one of the two Starbucks in town, reflecting and typing a final paper for Crown. I originally thought I’d get a part-time job at one of the two, since I’ve worked at Starbucks before and love it. Instead, I had a great part-time job come my way, at a local antique shop called Sweet Magnolia. I’m their first hired employee, as the owner is about to have her first baby and needs some extra help. It will be a great laid-back job to match my much more laid-back life.
And when I say laid-back for those of you who know me well, I’m not kidding! I’ve done something outside every day because the weather is so beautiful, and today I drove my car for the first time in four days. My house is literally in the backyard of the church, so I don’t need to drive to work. It’s so great.
Plus, I’m not working full-time right now, either. I have time to chill, cook my meals, and read. So far I’ve read an entire book for leisure. It’s a great thing. It’s blessing upon blessing, as I was going at an almost impossible pace before I moved here. I feel like God has rewarded me for the last three and a half difficult and busy years.
I also now see with my own eyes why people say the San Francisco Bay area is one of the most desirable places to live. The weather is gorgeous, and in 10 days I only saw clouds on one day. The sun is always shining. Plus, within two hours of here there are so many wonderful things: Yosemite National Park, the Golden Gate Bridge, Fisherman’s Wharf, Chinatown, and all the other wonderful things in downtown SF, Santa Cruz with it’s beaches, Lake Tahoe, Napa Valley, Sacramento, and a hundred other amazing things. It would be really hard to get bored here.
As I have new adventures, I will try to write about them. For now, I’m going to sign off with a prayer:
My loving Father in heaven, thank You so much for all You have blessed me with. Thank You for bringing me safely to CA and giving Kristin and me a safe and fun drive out here. Thank You for the awesome new friends I have made already—what an answer to the prayers of many people back in Minnesota. Thank You for Deana—for her warm welcome, for how she includes me in the things going on so I can make new friends, for her helping me to jump into my new role with both feet and for her leadership in the ministry. Thank You for my new small group of 7th grade girls and their precious hearts, especially for Haley and Stephanie and all they mean to me after two short weeks. I love You Lord, for all You are and for all You do. You are amazing to me, and too marvelous for words. I am Your servant, now and forever, to do Your bidding. Continue to guide me and grant me wisdom to make the choices You would will for me. In the precious name of Your son, Jesus, I pray. Amen.
At the present moment, I’m sitting at one of the two Starbucks in town, reflecting and typing a final paper for Crown. I originally thought I’d get a part-time job at one of the two, since I’ve worked at Starbucks before and love it. Instead, I had a great part-time job come my way, at a local antique shop called Sweet Magnolia. I’m their first hired employee, as the owner is about to have her first baby and needs some extra help. It will be a great laid-back job to match my much more laid-back life.
And when I say laid-back for those of you who know me well, I’m not kidding! I’ve done something outside every day because the weather is so beautiful, and today I drove my car for the first time in four days. My house is literally in the backyard of the church, so I don’t need to drive to work. It’s so great.
Plus, I’m not working full-time right now, either. I have time to chill, cook my meals, and read. So far I’ve read an entire book for leisure. It’s a great thing. It’s blessing upon blessing, as I was going at an almost impossible pace before I moved here. I feel like God has rewarded me for the last three and a half difficult and busy years.
I also now see with my own eyes why people say the San Francisco Bay area is one of the most desirable places to live. The weather is gorgeous, and in 10 days I only saw clouds on one day. The sun is always shining. Plus, within two hours of here there are so many wonderful things: Yosemite National Park, the Golden Gate Bridge, Fisherman’s Wharf, Chinatown, and all the other wonderful things in downtown SF, Santa Cruz with it’s beaches, Lake Tahoe, Napa Valley, Sacramento, and a hundred other amazing things. It would be really hard to get bored here.
As I have new adventures, I will try to write about them. For now, I’m going to sign off with a prayer:
My loving Father in heaven, thank You so much for all You have blessed me with. Thank You for bringing me safely to CA and giving Kristin and me a safe and fun drive out here. Thank You for the awesome new friends I have made already—what an answer to the prayers of many people back in Minnesota. Thank You for Deana—for her warm welcome, for how she includes me in the things going on so I can make new friends, for her helping me to jump into my new role with both feet and for her leadership in the ministry. Thank You for my new small group of 7th grade girls and their precious hearts, especially for Haley and Stephanie and all they mean to me after two short weeks. I love You Lord, for all You are and for all You do. You are amazing to me, and too marvelous for words. I am Your servant, now and forever, to do Your bidding. Continue to guide me and grant me wisdom to make the choices You would will for me. In the precious name of Your son, Jesus, I pray. Amen.
Friday, May 20, 2005
Sunday, May 15, 2005
A New Journey Begins
What a ride my life has been the last three years. God amazes me at every turn, and it is so evident that His hand is guiding me toward something that I can’t yet see. By faith I’m taking the next step and accepting this internship in California. I can’t say I ever thought I’d move to California. But I feel God drawing me there for something. And I know it’s for more than what I can see right now.
This feeling started at the end of the Women’s Prayer Summit in February. Lori talked to me about volunteering at the Imagine Conference coming up at Arcade in March. I thought that sounded like a great idea, yet even then I had a feeling there would be more to it than just volunteering at the conference.
For almost a month I debated whether or not to spend the money to go. The first week in March, I watched the airfares go up hour by hour. Finally, the prices had gone up $250 from when I started looking, and I prayed that if God wanted me to go, He would open the door time-wise and money-wise. He did, as Nyke said it was fine for me to go, and I found out I would get my income tax refund just in time to cover the ticket.
But before I could buy my ticket, there was one more thing Nyke wanted to tell me. My job would be cut at the end of May. So it appeared I had my answer for what else God needed me to do while in California – look for a job. So in the two weeks between buying my ticket and flying there, I set up two job interviews, with a possibility of at least one more.
I ended up with three interviews, and one in particular that went very well. It was at a church in Danville, CA, for an internship in youth ministry. I somehow just felt completely at home there. It was hard to explain. I just knew after that day that I would be moving to CA, though I wasn’t sure for which job right away.
I waited almost two months for an answer. And I got it, on May 6th. And though I was worried about pay, it turns out my pay will be exactly what I need to pay my bills. And I leave in less than two weeks!!! It’s crazy to think by the end of the month I will be living in California.
God is so good. I’m not sure all that He has in store for me out there, but I know that it goes beyond this internship and its responsibilities. I have not yet discovered His bigger purpose for my life, but by being obedient, I’m coming closer to finding out. He is, after all, my Provider and Guide.
This feeling started at the end of the Women’s Prayer Summit in February. Lori talked to me about volunteering at the Imagine Conference coming up at Arcade in March. I thought that sounded like a great idea, yet even then I had a feeling there would be more to it than just volunteering at the conference.
For almost a month I debated whether or not to spend the money to go. The first week in March, I watched the airfares go up hour by hour. Finally, the prices had gone up $250 from when I started looking, and I prayed that if God wanted me to go, He would open the door time-wise and money-wise. He did, as Nyke said it was fine for me to go, and I found out I would get my income tax refund just in time to cover the ticket.
But before I could buy my ticket, there was one more thing Nyke wanted to tell me. My job would be cut at the end of May. So it appeared I had my answer for what else God needed me to do while in California – look for a job. So in the two weeks between buying my ticket and flying there, I set up two job interviews, with a possibility of at least one more.
I ended up with three interviews, and one in particular that went very well. It was at a church in Danville, CA, for an internship in youth ministry. I somehow just felt completely at home there. It was hard to explain. I just knew after that day that I would be moving to CA, though I wasn’t sure for which job right away.
I waited almost two months for an answer. And I got it, on May 6th. And though I was worried about pay, it turns out my pay will be exactly what I need to pay my bills. And I leave in less than two weeks!!! It’s crazy to think by the end of the month I will be living in California.
God is so good. I’m not sure all that He has in store for me out there, but I know that it goes beyond this internship and its responsibilities. I have not yet discovered His bigger purpose for my life, but by being obedient, I’m coming closer to finding out. He is, after all, my Provider and Guide.
God is...
This is something I wrote as a part of a study I’m working through. It’s my senior pastor’s book, “The 7 Most Important Questions You’ll Ever Answer,” and it’s been a phenomenal tool for my walk with the Lord. I read this list during my devotional time every day to keep me grounded in all that God is. If you’d like to check out the book, or possibly even order one for yourself, it’s under the “Personal Renewal” section of www.strategicrenewal.com.
These are statements about God, literally my theology. It is not exhaustive, as I could go on for many pages. But it lists the attributes of God that are most important to me and that have touched my life many times over.
God is Loving, unconditionally. He loves me so deeply that He sacrificed His one and only son for me. His love for me can never decrease or increase, and I can do nothing to change it.
God is Ever-Present – He is by my side, holding my hand, through everything in my life. I am never alone, and I cannot hide from Him.
God is Faithful – He never breaks a promise and I can fully trust and rely on Him.
God is Sovereign – He is in control of the entire universe. Even when my life seems out of control, I know it isn’t, because God is in the driver’s seat.
God is my Provider. He gives me all I need and will provide even in times of trouble, so that I have no fear of what may come.
God is my Protector who will guard me from the darts of the enemy in all of life’s battles.
God is All-Knowing – He sees my entire past, present, and future at once and directs my path. Even when I cannot see the end result of the road I’m on, God knows and has a plan for me.
God is my Friend, a friend who will never forsake me.
God is Just – when I am wronged by someone, I know that person will receive what he deserves in God’s time. Sometimes, though God’s justice is perfect, it may not always seem completely fair to me.
God grants never-ending Grace, a grace that by faith in Jesus Christ saves me from an eternity separated from Him.
God is my Peace through the storms of my life, the steady rock that keeps my feet firmly planted.
God is my Creator, who created me in His image. Everything was made by Him, yet He chose me to be His daughter.
God is Jesus Christ, my Savior and Lord who died for me and redeemed me from the punishment for my sin.
God is the Holy Spirit who lives within my heart, comforting me and guiding me to all truth.
These are statements about God, literally my theology. It is not exhaustive, as I could go on for many pages. But it lists the attributes of God that are most important to me and that have touched my life many times over.
God is Loving, unconditionally. He loves me so deeply that He sacrificed His one and only son for me. His love for me can never decrease or increase, and I can do nothing to change it.
God is Ever-Present – He is by my side, holding my hand, through everything in my life. I am never alone, and I cannot hide from Him.
God is Faithful – He never breaks a promise and I can fully trust and rely on Him.
God is Sovereign – He is in control of the entire universe. Even when my life seems out of control, I know it isn’t, because God is in the driver’s seat.
God is my Provider. He gives me all I need and will provide even in times of trouble, so that I have no fear of what may come.
God is my Protector who will guard me from the darts of the enemy in all of life’s battles.
God is All-Knowing – He sees my entire past, present, and future at once and directs my path. Even when I cannot see the end result of the road I’m on, God knows and has a plan for me.
God is my Friend, a friend who will never forsake me.
God is Just – when I am wronged by someone, I know that person will receive what he deserves in God’s time. Sometimes, though God’s justice is perfect, it may not always seem completely fair to me.
God grants never-ending Grace, a grace that by faith in Jesus Christ saves me from an eternity separated from Him.
God is my Peace through the storms of my life, the steady rock that keeps my feet firmly planted.
God is my Creator, who created me in His image. Everything was made by Him, yet He chose me to be His daughter.
God is Jesus Christ, my Savior and Lord who died for me and redeemed me from the punishment for my sin.
God is the Holy Spirit who lives within my heart, comforting me and guiding me to all truth.
Friday, May 13, 2005
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