Ok, I had to write in here about my thoughts on a topic I came across on a blog I've frequented for a while. It's about weddings and marriage, and people generally ask for advice about various things. This is a post I came across a few days ago:
"Just wondering...how many out there have lived with their FI's before tying the knot? For those that did, would you go back and wait if you could?
My hubby to be is planning to move in with me before the end of the year and to be completely honest...I'm a little scared freaking out!!! I've been on my own for a little over 2 years now and I LOVE it. I love having my own place/space and I'm really afraid of losing that. Is this nomal? Or could this be a major warning sign?"
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I waited a few more days thinking about it, and seeing what others would post. YIKES!!! I guess I've been in my Christian bubble a bit longer than I thought, as I had no idea that living together isn't really even frowned upon anymore. Which scares me. I think the enemy has so many couples right where he wants them to cause them so much pain.
So, there were 38 responses before I responded. Out of them, only 6 didn't live with their husbands before marriage. And no one mentioned much about any of the risks or reasons not to live together. So, I prayed, then wrote this:
"I, too am apparently in the minority here. I feel also that it is absolutely not necessary to live together before marriage, and even a risk to the relationship. However, every relationship is different and every person is different - we all make our own choices in life and have to deal with the outcome, good or bad. I am not meaning this to sound judgemental - it's not. Honestly how many people, women especially, look at the risks before moving in together when they're blindly in love?
My husband and I knew each other for only 8 months before we got married, which gave us no time to learn living habits. I was 29 and he was 40 on our wedding day, which is also when we shared our first kiss. We had both lived on our own for many years and were set in our ways, and yeah, I was worried about how hard it would be to live with someone. But I knew it would all be worth the wait. And while our faith in God and His perfect design for marriage was the overarching factor that set our decision, we also knew God designed it that way for OUR good and well-being.
I carried a lot of pain from kissing guys (and more) when I was younger - giving that physical piece takes a piece of your heart and bonds a part of you to that person forever, even if you later marry someone else. I think our wedding day was that much sweeter for all we saved for that day: first kiss (and everything else), and living together. I knew when I met him that my next and last first kiss and everything else would be with my husband.
We just celebrated a year, and are more in love than ever. It's a lot easier to accept and get used to someone's quirks and habits when you move in with them under the covenant commitment of marriage. There is a lot more motivation to compromise and be accepting, as you KNOW you are there forever. I love it!!! It's so wonderful not to have to part ways every night and say goodnight by phone, yet we are so unbelievably happy we waited until marriage for all that. Even our first kiss, which we have a beautiful pic of that we'll have forever as well!"
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Then came the comments back to me:
"just an FYI, you did come across as judgemental. No biggy, but just thought I'd let you know. ;)
No one should judge anyone else for their decisions on why or how they did things in their own personal lives. My hubby moved into my house within about 3 months of us starting to date...
...My marriage and life with my husband is very special to ME. Regardless of whether we lived together (and did all kinds of naughty things, too, mind ya!) prior to the marriage, that doesn't make the fact that we have made this amazing commitment to each other any less amazing. Not in my opinion, anyway."
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and this one:
"Not to be mean, but I don't understand your reasoning. I'd rather learn about a person's quirks before getting married because after that, you're "stuck" with them... you have no choice. What if after two people get married, they move in together and the woman finds out her husband is abusive? (it's happened before). What then? They're already married so it would be much more difficult to leave the relationship. I think it would be better to move in together before marriage and learn about those things so if you find out you're not compatible, you can leave the relationship without all of the consequences (legal and otherwise) that come along with a divorce. But maybe that's just me...
Also, let's be realistic. For some people, they have no choice because of financial reasons. Like I mentioned in my post earlier, my fiance and I had to move in together because I would have been homeless otherwise. I couldn't move back home with my parents (because they lived in a tiny little house without space for me to even sleep), and I definitely couldn't afford the $900+ per month rent for an apartment on my own (that's how much it costs here). I thoroughly believe that my fiance saved me by agreeing to move in together! He loved me so much that he didn't want to have to face the prospect of me quitting school and essentially ending up homeless. Just another reason why I love him! :) Maybe you were lucky and made very good money or your parents let you live with them for a long time. Not everyone has that luxury. You shouldn't be so judgmental (because you did come across that way even if you didn't intend to). I'm a Christian also, but I'm not that judgmental of people because I understand everyone's situations are different. My marriage will be just as special as yours even though my fiance and I chose to live together beforehand. We've been together for 6 years, and we're still going strong. He's my soul mate and nothing will change that. "
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So, I responded again:
"I guess it's harder than I thought to say what I mean without coming across the wrong way. I apologize if I sounded judgemental - really, I believe everyone has to make their own decisions, plus live with what comes of them, and I'm not going to judge anyone for that. It is not my right, or my place, to judge anyone. There's so much more to what I said that I could write a book, and there's just not enough space here for that.
So I'll address only what's been directed back to me: the first is the "being stuck with a guy with quirks/abusive qualities". True, you never know what could happen. And people change. My choice in my husband, however, wasn't just my choice. He was God's choice for me, and God is a lot smarter than I am. So I trust Him, and my husband. Sure, if someone was married and then discovered abusive qualities it would be harder than if they were not married, but it is my belief that it is still not the best choice to make to live together. And that is just what I believe - I don't hold it against someone who makes a different choice however.
As for financial reasons, if it is God's will that we hold off on things until marriage, He will provide another living situation, too. I am not rich (not even close!!! I've been wondering how the bills will get paid every month for years now), and my parents are 1500 miles away. In fact, two weeks after we got engaged my internship was up and I had no place to go. Originally, I had planned on going back to MN, but then my hubby entered the picture! :) . I still knew it wasn't right for us to live together, rent alone in the San Fran area is over $1000/month and that was out of the question, and that God would provide. So I asked God for help. And before I even started looking or posted anything, a family from my church approached me and offered me their spare room and bath until the wedding.
Sound too good to be true? Well, that wasn't the first time God provided me, literally, with shelter when I would have been without. It was the 4th time in 4 years. I had been laid off 3 times in a year and a half and every time someone offered, without me asking, a place to stay rent free.
I really, truly, and with my whole heart believe that God designed marriage the best way it could be, because He alone is perfect. And for my life, I've found that I'm a lot more content and happy if I'm listening to what God's telling me and doing my best to follow it.
Again, I apologize if anyone felt judged by what I said, I really am just speaking from my own heart about how and why we chose the timing we did."
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So what do you think? Should I have just kept my mouth shut? I was just trying to share how God's ways worked out best for us, maybe be a good example even if I am in the minority. And I know a lot of what I'm saying is falling on deaf ears anyway, so I'm trying not to take it personally. But really!!!! I can't believe that women are so blind and have really, truly, bought the lies our culture has been feeding them. It's sad, and I'm sure God is even sadder. Oh the lies women believe, that bring so much pain and heartache. I should know, I've had plenty of heartache from buying into lies in my relationships in the past.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
My husband, the chef
Ok, so maybe this meal wasn't at the level of gourmet food. And I was a bit worried at how this one would turn out. You see, Nigel called me from the grocery store to tell me he was making hotdish. If you're not from the Midwest, you know it as a casserole. Yup, Nigel making hotdish. I was nervous - after all, being from Minnesota, I could fill an entire recipe book with all my hotdish recipes. But he's from Pakistan, and has never made it before. Plus, he likes mixing random things together.
I came home to a beautiful smell in the kitchen. Hmmm, maybe this wouldn't be so bad. He wouldn't tell me what he'd put in it - wanted me to figure it out on my own.
It was DELICIOUS!! He used chicken breasts (yes, marinated in various spices), a box of stuffing, veggies, a can of cream of whatever soup (a hotdish staple), and even a bit of cheese and french fried onions on top. I am so impressed! Maybe I can turn him into a Minnesotan yet...
I came home to a beautiful smell in the kitchen. Hmmm, maybe this wouldn't be so bad. He wouldn't tell me what he'd put in it - wanted me to figure it out on my own.
It was DELICIOUS!! He used chicken breasts (yes, marinated in various spices), a box of stuffing, veggies, a can of cream of whatever soup (a hotdish staple), and even a bit of cheese and french fried onions on top. I am so impressed! Maybe I can turn him into a Minnesotan yet...
Saturday, October 13, 2007
It's already been one year, no way!
I cannot believe we've been married for a year already. And it's so amazing. We were talking the other day after we got back from Carmel, where we spent our anniversary, about how it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off our shoulder since we hit one year.
Why? Well everyone kept telling us that the first year is so hard, and that it would be especially so for us since we met in February of 2006 and were married in October. So once we hit a year, the pressure was off or something like that. Weird, huh? Especially since it was totally a mental thing. I mean, there were difficult parts of learning to share all of your life and home with another, especially a man, but it was far better than I was expecting. And my expectation was totally a result of others who told me it was going to be extremely difficult.
So we are happier than ever. Nicole Gee, my awesome friend/photographer, took pictures of us in San Francisco on the 6th. We decided it would become a yearly tradition. Do any of you have any anniversary traditions?
We also got a cake from the same one who did our wedding cake, Fatema at Cake Delight. We even tried a new flavor: chocolate mousse. It was yummy! And without any ideas from me at all she remembered our wedding cake and put the same brown and blue flowers on it! She is so sweet and amazing. That's why we keep going back to her!
Here is an album from our anniversary weekend:
I also finally put out there an album of some of our faves from the wedding. Just click public gallery after you go to the above album. On the morning of our anniversary, the 8th, Nigel and I sat down in our room at the Normandy Inn in Carmel and ate cake while we watched our wedding video and a slideshow of pics. Joel Flory's slideshow from our wedding is still up as well. Just after we finished the video, there was a knock at the door and a delivery of 2 dozen red roses! How sweet is my husband? And he had no control over the perfect timing, either.
It was a wonderful celebration, for sure.
Why? Well everyone kept telling us that the first year is so hard, and that it would be especially so for us since we met in February of 2006 and were married in October. So once we hit a year, the pressure was off or something like that. Weird, huh? Especially since it was totally a mental thing. I mean, there were difficult parts of learning to share all of your life and home with another, especially a man, but it was far better than I was expecting. And my expectation was totally a result of others who told me it was going to be extremely difficult.
So we are happier than ever. Nicole Gee, my awesome friend/photographer, took pictures of us in San Francisco on the 6th. We decided it would become a yearly tradition. Do any of you have any anniversary traditions?
We also got a cake from the same one who did our wedding cake, Fatema at Cake Delight. We even tried a new flavor: chocolate mousse. It was yummy! And without any ideas from me at all she remembered our wedding cake and put the same brown and blue flowers on it! She is so sweet and amazing. That's why we keep going back to her!
Here is an album from our anniversary weekend:
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| First Anniversar |
I also finally put out there an album of some of our faves from the wedding. Just click public gallery after you go to the above album. On the morning of our anniversary, the 8th, Nigel and I sat down in our room at the Normandy Inn in Carmel and ate cake while we watched our wedding video and a slideshow of pics. Joel Flory's slideshow from our wedding is still up as well. Just after we finished the video, there was a knock at the door and a delivery of 2 dozen red roses! How sweet is my husband? And he had no control over the perfect timing, either.
It was a wonderful celebration, for sure.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Maui
Nigel and I just got back from 9 days on Maui. What a wonderful trip!! It was relaxing and a much needed recharge. We didn't realize how weary we had become with the day-to-day busyness of life in California. It really was like we were on a second honeymoon. And in a very beautiful place! This is a pic from the very end of our trip to Hana.
We saw a lot of beautiful waterfalls that day. Many were unknown to the general public, as we had this awesome book called "Maui Revealed". You can easily buy it on Amazon if you're headed to Maui. There's also one for Kauai that we used for our honeymoon, as well as ones for Oaho and the Big Island. You can click the link to our album to see more pics.
The hurricane missed us completely, thank goodness. We had beautiful weather the whole time we were there. And we didn't do too much at all. We rode jet skis at Lahaina, which Nigel had never done. We also went to an awesome show called Warren and Annabelle's Magic show in Lahaina. And, believe it or not, we met a group of Minnesotans, which knew an entire family of people from my tiny hometown. It is such a small world! And Nigel shakes his head in disbelief every time this happens to me, which is often. I always seem to find someone I'm connected to somehow.
I'm back at creating more album pages, hoping very soon to launch this thing. It's time consuming work, yet I love it so much. God's given me this talent for a reason, just like all the others. And He's showing me how to use it. And I am grateful to Him, for this talent and for my life.
You know, we take for granted so much in this life on earth. Like the beautiful sunsets God paints for us every evening. Or that He gives us each day to use for His purposes, yet we waste so much of it. Or the love of our husbands, family, and friends. I keep thinking about the song Garth Brooks sings called "If Tomorrow Never Comes." I want to live each day like it's my last, doing exactly what God has given me to do for that day, cherishing the little moments with friends and family when I get to, and especially with Nigel. Because maybe I won't have tomorrow, or maybe he won't. And God doesn't want us to live in the past or the future - He wants us to live today, for today. Sometimes it takes 9 straight days of slowing down to come back to that reality. But it's true.
So please, for me, take a moment you wouldn't have otherwise taken with someone you love today and really cherish it. Take a picture or write it down, too, because there is joy for you in the remembering, as well.
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| From Maui 2007 |
We saw a lot of beautiful waterfalls that day. Many were unknown to the general public, as we had this awesome book called "Maui Revealed". You can easily buy it on Amazon if you're headed to Maui. There's also one for Kauai that we used for our honeymoon, as well as ones for Oaho and the Big Island. You can click the link to our album to see more pics.
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| From Maui 2007 |
The hurricane missed us completely, thank goodness. We had beautiful weather the whole time we were there. And we didn't do too much at all. We rode jet skis at Lahaina, which Nigel had never done. We also went to an awesome show called Warren and Annabelle's Magic show in Lahaina. And, believe it or not, we met a group of Minnesotans, which knew an entire family of people from my tiny hometown. It is such a small world! And Nigel shakes his head in disbelief every time this happens to me, which is often. I always seem to find someone I'm connected to somehow.
I'm back at creating more album pages, hoping very soon to launch this thing. It's time consuming work, yet I love it so much. God's given me this talent for a reason, just like all the others. And He's showing me how to use it. And I am grateful to Him, for this talent and for my life.
You know, we take for granted so much in this life on earth. Like the beautiful sunsets God paints for us every evening. Or that He gives us each day to use for His purposes, yet we waste so much of it. Or the love of our husbands, family, and friends. I keep thinking about the song Garth Brooks sings called "If Tomorrow Never Comes." I want to live each day like it's my last, doing exactly what God has given me to do for that day, cherishing the little moments with friends and family when I get to, and especially with Nigel. Because maybe I won't have tomorrow, or maybe he won't. And God doesn't want us to live in the past or the future - He wants us to live today, for today. Sometimes it takes 9 straight days of slowing down to come back to that reality. But it's true.
So please, for me, take a moment you wouldn't have otherwise taken with someone you love today and really cherish it. Take a picture or write it down, too, because there is joy for you in the remembering, as well.
Monday, August 13, 2007
August 2007 - almost over?!?!
Life is good, even when it is a whirlwind. Things have been busy for us - I picked up more hours at work and work more hours when I'm at home. So Nigel is feeling my laptop gets more attention than him some nights lately. Yet, the business stuff is really coming along. I created a page for my website jaxdigitaldesign.com. Down at the bottom right of the page is a link to my Picasa gallery, with more collages and album pages being added all the time.
It's a ton of fun, even though it's a lot of work. I am working on a full website, but that is a while out yet in being finished. And even then the gallery part will take me a while to set up. I also bought jackieclemonds.com, so that points to my site as well.
I am set for a meeting at the end of the month with a photographer to discuss creating albums for his wedding clients, and I have another photographer who I am designing collages and marketing materials for (she took our engagement shots, and the senior pics I've been putting collages together of).
Nigel and I are headed to Maui tomorrow for some long overdue downtime, for 9 days. There's a hurricane headed for Hawaii, too, though right now it looks like that will hit only the Big Island, and not Maui. But we may see some extra wind and showers for a few days as it moves out of the area. Our first trip to Hawaii, to Kauai for our honeymoon, brought our first experience of an earthquake (and we've felt a few since - after all, we live in San Francisco!) I think we may need to think of a different spot to escape to next time...
I've heard a lot of the country is experiencing very hot and humid weather lately. Well, we live in a desert climate and it's unseasonably cool here (like 70s and 80s vs. 100s). And the days have been gorgeous in the East Bay. I feel so blessed to live here!
We also bought our tickets for MN for Christmas. We are flying in the evening of the 21st and heading back to CA on the 26th. Hopefully I will get to see some of my Twin Cities friends while I'm home!!
I'll post again after our trip to Hawaii with some pics. Hopefully we'll get some sunny days.
It's a ton of fun, even though it's a lot of work. I am working on a full website, but that is a while out yet in being finished. And even then the gallery part will take me a while to set up. I also bought jackieclemonds.com, so that points to my site as well.
I am set for a meeting at the end of the month with a photographer to discuss creating albums for his wedding clients, and I have another photographer who I am designing collages and marketing materials for (she took our engagement shots, and the senior pics I've been putting collages together of).
Nigel and I are headed to Maui tomorrow for some long overdue downtime, for 9 days. There's a hurricane headed for Hawaii, too, though right now it looks like that will hit only the Big Island, and not Maui. But we may see some extra wind and showers for a few days as it moves out of the area. Our first trip to Hawaii, to Kauai for our honeymoon, brought our first experience of an earthquake (and we've felt a few since - after all, we live in San Francisco!) I think we may need to think of a different spot to escape to next time...
I've heard a lot of the country is experiencing very hot and humid weather lately. Well, we live in a desert climate and it's unseasonably cool here (like 70s and 80s vs. 100s). And the days have been gorgeous in the East Bay. I feel so blessed to live here!
We also bought our tickets for MN for Christmas. We are flying in the evening of the 21st and heading back to CA on the 26th. Hopefully I will get to see some of my Twin Cities friends while I'm home!!
I'll post again after our trip to Hawaii with some pics. Hopefully we'll get some sunny days.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
So much going on...
Well, life has been NUTS lately! I'm in the process of starting a business, designing wedding albums. The biggest news is I have a website!!! It's nothing really, yet, except my logo and a link to my album samples on picasaweb, but it's a start! Through my most recent job, I've learned everything I've ever wanted to know about web sites: hosting them, creating them, updating files, mail servers, etc. And all that is helping me! Here's a link to my web site: www.jaxdigitaldesign.com. More on that later!
I just got a new set of wedding pics from a friend so I can work on some pages for her. I am excited to work with some pics other than my own!
In other news, Nigel and I are headed to Maui in August. We went to Kauai on our honeymoon, which was the first trip to Hawaii for both of us. We are excited to head to another island. And through many blessings, we are able to go for 9 days!!! We need it - especially with all the extra work I've been putting into starting my own business. And Nigel's been swamped at work, too. So we're excited for some extended R&R on the beach.
Now if I could only figure out how to get the money for a Mac, I'd be set! So for now I get to design on my slow laptop. And pray for enough orders soon to pay for a new Mac and the new Adobe CS3. Then I can create to my heart's content, and design my whole website, too. It will happen, and all I need is a bit more patience to wait it out.
I just got a new set of wedding pics from a friend so I can work on some pages for her. I am excited to work with some pics other than my own!
In other news, Nigel and I are headed to Maui in August. We went to Kauai on our honeymoon, which was the first trip to Hawaii for both of us. We are excited to head to another island. And through many blessings, we are able to go for 9 days!!! We need it - especially with all the extra work I've been putting into starting my own business. And Nigel's been swamped at work, too. So we're excited for some extended R&R on the beach.
Now if I could only figure out how to get the money for a Mac, I'd be set! So for now I get to design on my slow laptop. And pray for enough orders soon to pay for a new Mac and the new Adobe CS3. Then I can create to my heart's content, and design my whole website, too. It will happen, and all I need is a bit more patience to wait it out.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
My 30th Birthday Party
I can't believe I'm 30!!! For my birthday, Nigel arranged a party for me and invited all my friends to the Macaroni Grill in Dublin, CA. Italian is my favorite! He wouldn't tell me anything about it though - just that he was doing something for me the night after my birthday with my friends and his family. We all enjoyed some wonderful Italian food, and at the end a man brought out this fudgy cake with a candle on it. He then sang "Happy Birthday" to me in Italian with his beautiful voice. After dinner, we went to Bob and Merrie's house for cake. Nigel had ordered a birthday cake from Fatema, who made our wedding cake. This one, however, was a 4 layer almond cake with chocolate ganache filling. What a sweet husband I have!!!
I should also tell the story of my birthday itself. Nigel couldn't wait until morning for me to open my gifts, so as soon as midnight hit and it was May 11th, he handed me the gifts. I chose, however, to only open one. It was a beautiful black and white pearl necklace. The next morning I opened another gift, and it was a matching black pearl necklace and bracelet. How sweet! The most unique gift, and appropriate for a 30th birthday for sure, was from my friend Brittany. She gave me the new Tickle Me Elmo Extreme. It is hilarious!!! If you haven't seen it, get one!!
I left work at noon on my birthday to spend the rest of the day with Nigel. We met up at his mom's house. She couldn't resist and cooked us a wonderful lunch. She is such a GREAT cook!! That night, Nigel told me we had dinner plans but again wouldn't tell me where we were going. It turns out he had made reservations at this cute little Italian restaurant in Alamo called Ristorante Forli. They had live music as well, so we danced to some of the old standards after a wonderful dinner.
I am blessed. I have wonderful friends, a husband who treats me almost too well, a great family (who is too far away), and a wonderful family of in-laws. What more could I ask for in the people that surround me? God is good.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
A visit from friends (new friends for me)
The last week in April we hosted Nigel's good friends from Pakistan, Haseeb, and his wife Itti (pronounced It-thee). It is very hard for a Pakistani to get a visitor's visa to the US right now. So we thought the first time I would ever get to meet them was if we went to Pakistan.
However, Haseeb works for Motorola, and won a sales award, WNNR, for which the company flew him to Hawaii and gave him and his wife (along with all the other WNNRs and their spouses) tons of praise, recognition, free gifts including a gold-plated cell phone, and the whole vacation which included their stay at a fancy resort. I want to work for Motorola! No wonder their phones are so expensive.
Anyway, since the company wanted them to travel to Hawaii for business, it was easy to get visas for them. Then Haseeb requested to fly through San Francisco with a stopover on the way back for 4 days. They agreed, and so they stayed with us and we traveled all over the Bay area. It was a blast!!
Here is a link to my public Picasa gallery, which includes an album from their visit with a few of my faves:
Their visit also meant a week of cleaning and finally completely putting together our house. So now I have a functional office/spare bedroom/studio!! I'll take some pictures of our place now and post them soon, since everything's finally in order.
However, Haseeb works for Motorola, and won a sales award, WNNR, for which the company flew him to Hawaii and gave him and his wife (along with all the other WNNRs and their spouses) tons of praise, recognition, free gifts including a gold-plated cell phone, and the whole vacation which included their stay at a fancy resort. I want to work for Motorola! No wonder their phones are so expensive.
Anyway, since the company wanted them to travel to Hawaii for business, it was easy to get visas for them. Then Haseeb requested to fly through San Francisco with a stopover on the way back for 4 days. They agreed, and so they stayed with us and we traveled all over the Bay area. It was a blast!!
Here is a link to my public Picasa gallery, which includes an album from their visit with a few of my faves:
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| Itti and Haseeb's Visit April 07 |
Their visit also meant a week of cleaning and finally completely putting together our house. So now I have a functional office/spare bedroom/studio!! I'll take some pictures of our place now and post them soon, since everything's finally in order.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Scrapbook Page Flowers 1
This is one of the pages I've been working on for our wedding album. I think this one's done (expect maybe some copy changes). It's stretching my Photoshop skills in a whole new way, and I am excited to learn more!
New furniture, new ideas, and a new job
I can't believe it's already March!!! On Thursday Nigel and I will have been married for 5 months already. I can't believe it. And changes abound, yet again, in my life. I guess that's the way it goes when you never really picked/stuck to a career path to begin with...
We received a huge gift from a family at the church - bedroom furniture! Mine is at my dad's place in South Dakota, and we have no clue when we will be able to get it out here. So, in the meantime, we got some from a family who is majorly downsizing. The daughter, Sunee, is an 8th grader in my small group. We got a beautiful dresser and nightstand for our bedroom, white in a French style, and a matching desk/hutch which I am going to use in my "studio."
Speaking of my studio. We have a 2nd bedroom with no other purpose, yet, though it will hopefully be a nursery eventually. So for now it is "my space." I've been working on a lot of neat new projects. I started getting inspired for all kinds of projects while I was working on planning our wedding. So I started collecting "stuff" - canvases (the traditional kind plus wooden boxes, old cigar boxes, bags, clipboards, composition notebooks, photo albums), fabric swatches, wallpaper, paper of all kinds, ribbon, flowers, and all kinds of other things.
I also started working on a digital scrapbook. Basically, you layer text, photos, graphics, ribbons, etc. just like you would on paper, only in Photoshop. I'll post one of my latest soon.
So, I am also switching jobs. This Friday, in a very bitersweet way, is my last day at the antique shop. On Monday, I'm starting at Network Architects, and will be doing web design and maintenance. No, I have no experience in that exactly, but it's something I've always wanted to learn. And now someone wants to give me the tools I need and teach me how to do it. It's 3 days a week, and I'll make as much as 5 at the store. So I'll have time to work on photography stuff for Nicole, the photographer I'm working with (her husband is the one who's hired me), and to do all these projects I'm dreaming of.
Life's crazy. But it's a wild ride that I'm enjoying immensely, especially with Nigel by my side!
We received a huge gift from a family at the church - bedroom furniture! Mine is at my dad's place in South Dakota, and we have no clue when we will be able to get it out here. So, in the meantime, we got some from a family who is majorly downsizing. The daughter, Sunee, is an 8th grader in my small group. We got a beautiful dresser and nightstand for our bedroom, white in a French style, and a matching desk/hutch which I am going to use in my "studio."
Speaking of my studio. We have a 2nd bedroom with no other purpose, yet, though it will hopefully be a nursery eventually. So for now it is "my space." I've been working on a lot of neat new projects. I started getting inspired for all kinds of projects while I was working on planning our wedding. So I started collecting "stuff" - canvases (the traditional kind plus wooden boxes, old cigar boxes, bags, clipboards, composition notebooks, photo albums), fabric swatches, wallpaper, paper of all kinds, ribbon, flowers, and all kinds of other things.
I also started working on a digital scrapbook. Basically, you layer text, photos, graphics, ribbons, etc. just like you would on paper, only in Photoshop. I'll post one of my latest soon.
So, I am also switching jobs. This Friday, in a very bitersweet way, is my last day at the antique shop. On Monday, I'm starting at Network Architects, and will be doing web design and maintenance. No, I have no experience in that exactly, but it's something I've always wanted to learn. And now someone wants to give me the tools I need and teach me how to do it. It's 3 days a week, and I'll make as much as 5 at the store. So I'll have time to work on photography stuff for Nicole, the photographer I'm working with (her husband is the one who's hired me), and to do all these projects I'm dreaming of.
Life's crazy. But it's a wild ride that I'm enjoying immensely, especially with Nigel by my side!
Monday, February 05, 2007
4 Things About Me - Jackie Clemonds
My Friend Holly posted this and I liked it. So here's mine!
A) Four jobs I have had in my life: ( I think I've had around 20 different ones!)
1. Dishwasher at Ike's Chicken Shack (my very first job at age 14)
2. Hostess at TGIFriday's in Fargo in college
3. Piano teacher (have been teaching since my junior year of high school and still do)
4. Sales at an antique shop/part-time nanny for the owner (another current job)
B) Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Beauty and the Beast
2. The Wedding Planner (a dream job for me)
3. First Knight
4. Pride and Prejudice (the newest version)
C) Four places I have lived:
1. South Dakota (I was born in Sioux Falls and grew up on a farm near Sisseton)
2. Scottsdale, Arizona (for 4 months after college)
3. Various parts of the Minneapolis area for 7 years
4. Lafayette, CA (where I live now since I got married in October 2006)
D) Four TV shows I love to watch:
1.American Idol
2. Reba
3. 7th Heaven
4.Almost anything on TLC or HGTV
E) Four places I have been on vacation
1. The Bahamas in High School
2. Europe for a month in college (Germany, Itlay, Czech Republic, Vienna, Amsterdam - was in Florence on my 21st birthday)
3.Ghana, Africa (not vaction though - for a mission trip
4. Kauai, Hawaii for my honeymoon in October 2006
G) Four of my favorite foods:
1. Almost anything Italian (my favorite pasta dish is Spaghetti Carbonara)
2. Nigel's chicken fried rice
3. Thai pumpkin curry
4. Chicken Tikka Masala
H) Four places I would like to be right now:
1. Italy
2. Home with Nigel
3. Sleeping with Nigel in a hammock in Kauai like we got to do on our honeymoon
4. Catalina Island
A) Four jobs I have had in my life: ( I think I've had around 20 different ones!)
1. Dishwasher at Ike's Chicken Shack (my very first job at age 14)
2. Hostess at TGIFriday's in Fargo in college
3. Piano teacher (have been teaching since my junior year of high school and still do)
4. Sales at an antique shop/part-time nanny for the owner (another current job)
B) Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Beauty and the Beast
2. The Wedding Planner (a dream job for me)
3. First Knight
4. Pride and Prejudice (the newest version)
C) Four places I have lived:
1. South Dakota (I was born in Sioux Falls and grew up on a farm near Sisseton)
2. Scottsdale, Arizona (for 4 months after college)
3. Various parts of the Minneapolis area for 7 years
4. Lafayette, CA (where I live now since I got married in October 2006)
D) Four TV shows I love to watch:
1.American Idol
2. Reba
3. 7th Heaven
4.Almost anything on TLC or HGTV
E) Four places I have been on vacation
1. The Bahamas in High School
2. Europe for a month in college (Germany, Itlay, Czech Republic, Vienna, Amsterdam - was in Florence on my 21st birthday)
3.Ghana, Africa (not vaction though - for a mission trip
4. Kauai, Hawaii for my honeymoon in October 2006
G) Four of my favorite foods:
1. Almost anything Italian (my favorite pasta dish is Spaghetti Carbonara)
2. Nigel's chicken fried rice
3. Thai pumpkin curry
4. Chicken Tikka Masala
H) Four places I would like to be right now:
1. Italy
2. Home with Nigel
3. Sleeping with Nigel in a hammock in Kauai like we got to do on our honeymoon
4. Catalina Island
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Our home - and the piano saga
With a title like that you're probably expecting pictures. Well, I haven't quite gotten that far. But I will soon! And I will post some when I do.
Our apartment is finally starting to feel like a home. That's partly due to the fact I've now had some time to work on it, and get almost daily ideas from my boss who's an interior designer. I get inspiration from the store I work at, too. When I first moved in, it felt totally like Nigel's place. Granted, all of my furniture is being stored at my dad's farm.
But Nigel's style of decorating is not mine. He likes dark cherry finished woods with an Asian (Indian/Pakistani) influence- I like pastel white, green, and country blue French style furniture. Luckily for me, pale green is his favorite color and the French country blue is mine, and they go very well together. But the woods - I wasn't thinking it was going to work very well together. I was wrong! We're slowly blending the two styles.
So that's our bedroom - white furniture with white, green, and blue decor. We do, however have some dark wood nightstands in there and some dark wood frames framing some honeymoon momentos on the wall. Our bathroom is completely done - all in white and pale greens.
But our home was lacking something. Something crucial for me to feel at home - a piano. I have cried countless times since the wedding over being sad at not having one to play and having no idea how to get my piano here - or when that might possibly happen. To make it worse, we found out it is worth about $800 and would cost more than that to move. So we're holding out on the decision, but will probably try to sell it. That makes me a bit sad, because it is the piano my parents bought for me at 6 years old to learn on, and has been with me through my life of learning, and teaching, piano. But at the same time, I've learned the hard way that I'm very sentimental and can't keep everything just for the memories. After all, the material things themselves aren't the memories or the people connected to them anyway. (Thanks Becky, for helping me get to that point with my first major purge!)
One Sunday just into 2007 and just after a Lorie Line concert (Nigel's first and my 15th) inspired him to want to SOMEHOW get me a piano, we went to Walnut Creek to dream. In reality, I still figured we would keep looking on Craig's List and someday find a "good enough" one that we could afford. But I can dream, right? So we wandered into The Music Exchange, which sells Yamaha pianos - my personal favorite to play in touch and sound. They are so far out of our price range. But I asked the saleswoman for a brochure anyway, because I wanted to continue to dream. We assured her we could not afford a brand new piano right now, but on the way out she said to Nigel, "You know, Valentine's Day is coming up." To which I responded, "He WISHES he could buy me a piano for Valentine's Day!"
I soon ate my words. About an hour later we wandered into Sherman Clay, another piano dealer in WC. They mainly sell Steinways and the Steinway brands like Boston and Essex, but why not dream some more, right? We wandered through all the beautiful Steinways, the stately Bostons, and the cheaper, yet wonderfully ornate Essex pianos. We wandered all the way into the back corner of the shop, where I spotted a sign that read "We rent pianos." Hmmm. Rent? I bet we could afford that! And they even had Yamahas to rent. So we found a salesman, Bernardo, who is from Brazil originally, and started firing questions at him. How much do they rent for? What kinds do you have? How do they get to our place? Do you tune for free?
After he answered all of our questions, and we were eagerly nodding our heads and ready to sign the papers, he said, "I feel like I should also mention to you that we have a rent-to-own program." Intrigued, I asked him to explain the details. Payments are around $50 a month, we have a year and a half to change our minds, we can put a down payment on it to bring the price down, we could make higher payments and pay it off early to avoid some of the interest, and they were having a huge end-of-the-year sale that knocked $1000 off the price. After all the explanations, he left Nigel and I to talk.
Nigel said sure, why not? I actually cried with joy. Not kidding. So I started playing. Every piano in the store. I wanted to find one that had a great touch, a bright rich sound, and was on the taller end of uprights (more height = bigger soundboard = bigger sound). I found the perfect one - a Henry F. Miller, mahogany finish (which would nicely complement Nigel's decorating style), responsive action on the keys, and a BEAUTIFUL sound. Nigel said a down payment, which would make it affordable in the long run, was my Valentine's gift - a bit early. And my two new piano students would pay for the piano!
So, we signed the paperwork, and within a week it was delivered to our door!! Nigel's mom was the only one there when it arrived. She was teaching me to cook that day and had sent me to the store for some unsweetened coconut, which proved difficult to find. When I got back, she said "Go see what arrived while you were gone." And I cried again! It's now been a couple weeks, and the piano has brought Nigel and I so much joy already. He cries when I play, and I am happier and less stressed than I have been in a long time!
I love my husband. And I love how he supports my dreams, and does what he can to help me achieve them. Now, I'm working on a flyer to advertise for more students. By the time we have our first child, my goal is to have enough students to stay home. With a piano in our home, that now just might happen!
Our apartment is finally starting to feel like a home. That's partly due to the fact I've now had some time to work on it, and get almost daily ideas from my boss who's an interior designer. I get inspiration from the store I work at, too. When I first moved in, it felt totally like Nigel's place. Granted, all of my furniture is being stored at my dad's farm.
But Nigel's style of decorating is not mine. He likes dark cherry finished woods with an Asian (Indian/Pakistani) influence- I like pastel white, green, and country blue French style furniture. Luckily for me, pale green is his favorite color and the French country blue is mine, and they go very well together. But the woods - I wasn't thinking it was going to work very well together. I was wrong! We're slowly blending the two styles.
So that's our bedroom - white furniture with white, green, and blue decor. We do, however have some dark wood nightstands in there and some dark wood frames framing some honeymoon momentos on the wall. Our bathroom is completely done - all in white and pale greens.
But our home was lacking something. Something crucial for me to feel at home - a piano. I have cried countless times since the wedding over being sad at not having one to play and having no idea how to get my piano here - or when that might possibly happen. To make it worse, we found out it is worth about $800 and would cost more than that to move. So we're holding out on the decision, but will probably try to sell it. That makes me a bit sad, because it is the piano my parents bought for me at 6 years old to learn on, and has been with me through my life of learning, and teaching, piano. But at the same time, I've learned the hard way that I'm very sentimental and can't keep everything just for the memories. After all, the material things themselves aren't the memories or the people connected to them anyway. (Thanks Becky, for helping me get to that point with my first major purge!)
One Sunday just into 2007 and just after a Lorie Line concert (Nigel's first and my 15th) inspired him to want to SOMEHOW get me a piano, we went to Walnut Creek to dream. In reality, I still figured we would keep looking on Craig's List and someday find a "good enough" one that we could afford. But I can dream, right? So we wandered into The Music Exchange, which sells Yamaha pianos - my personal favorite to play in touch and sound. They are so far out of our price range. But I asked the saleswoman for a brochure anyway, because I wanted to continue to dream. We assured her we could not afford a brand new piano right now, but on the way out she said to Nigel, "You know, Valentine's Day is coming up." To which I responded, "He WISHES he could buy me a piano for Valentine's Day!"
I soon ate my words. About an hour later we wandered into Sherman Clay, another piano dealer in WC. They mainly sell Steinways and the Steinway brands like Boston and Essex, but why not dream some more, right? We wandered through all the beautiful Steinways, the stately Bostons, and the cheaper, yet wonderfully ornate Essex pianos. We wandered all the way into the back corner of the shop, where I spotted a sign that read "We rent pianos." Hmmm. Rent? I bet we could afford that! And they even had Yamahas to rent. So we found a salesman, Bernardo, who is from Brazil originally, and started firing questions at him. How much do they rent for? What kinds do you have? How do they get to our place? Do you tune for free?
After he answered all of our questions, and we were eagerly nodding our heads and ready to sign the papers, he said, "I feel like I should also mention to you that we have a rent-to-own program." Intrigued, I asked him to explain the details. Payments are around $50 a month, we have a year and a half to change our minds, we can put a down payment on it to bring the price down, we could make higher payments and pay it off early to avoid some of the interest, and they were having a huge end-of-the-year sale that knocked $1000 off the price. After all the explanations, he left Nigel and I to talk.
Nigel said sure, why not? I actually cried with joy. Not kidding. So I started playing. Every piano in the store. I wanted to find one that had a great touch, a bright rich sound, and was on the taller end of uprights (more height = bigger soundboard = bigger sound). I found the perfect one - a Henry F. Miller, mahogany finish (which would nicely complement Nigel's decorating style), responsive action on the keys, and a BEAUTIFUL sound. Nigel said a down payment, which would make it affordable in the long run, was my Valentine's gift - a bit early. And my two new piano students would pay for the piano!
So, we signed the paperwork, and within a week it was delivered to our door!! Nigel's mom was the only one there when it arrived. She was teaching me to cook that day and had sent me to the store for some unsweetened coconut, which proved difficult to find. When I got back, she said "Go see what arrived while you were gone." And I cried again! It's now been a couple weeks, and the piano has brought Nigel and I so much joy already. He cries when I play, and I am happier and less stressed than I have been in a long time!
I love my husband. And I love how he supports my dreams, and does what he can to help me achieve them. Now, I'm working on a flyer to advertise for more students. By the time we have our first child, my goal is to have enough students to stay home. With a piano in our home, that now just might happen!
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
New Year's Eve, 2006
Nigel and I at our friends Ron and Nicole Gee's house on New Year's Eve. Yes, I actually cut my hair! I had been letting it get as long as possible for the wedding, and kept it that way through the second reception on December 23. Then it was time to chop it off for a while. Nigel LOVES it, which was a bonus!
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