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Definitions...

This is going to be a short post. But I had a lightbulb moment yesterday. It wasn't prompted by anything, but came just the same. The dictionary is full of words. What is interesting is how people will take a word, and twist it and pull it and prod it until it no longer means the same thing in a culture. I do not personally agree with that, especially when it's done purposefully with ill intentions and to manipulate others.

The word that came to my head? Tolerance. I believe it is something God wants us to practice. However, do you know what the actual definition(s) of this word is/are? Here is a fair sample:

1. a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions and practices that differ from one's own.

2. interest in and concern for ideas, opinions, practices, etc., foreign to one's own; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint.

3. a permissible difference; allowing some freedom to move within limits

Nowhere in any of those does tolerance mean agreement with or affirmation or condoning of another's differing opinions, practices, or beliefs.

What is God's command to me and all humans? Love one another. That's it. I love my brother and others in my life who have chosen courses that I disagree with. That God would disagree with, too. And they love me even when they disagree. So that would be tolerance. Tolerance is not agreeing with, affirming, and wholeheartedly supporting all the actions of everyone else. God does not call us to that.

I've heard this said many times over the years: the Gospel itself is offensive to many. That is true. And it is not affirming of all actions of people. Yet God, and His Word, and His son Jesus Christ, love and tolerate all people, all the while hoping they will turn from their worldly ways back to the One who created them. Do you know why the Gospel is offensive to many? Because it in itself states there is a God, therefore there is truth. And most of today's culture doesn't want to hear that.

Granted, we should not be disrespectfully shoving God's commands in people's faces who don't know Him. As a wise man I listened to recently said: "It is the Holy Spirit's job to convict, it is God's job to judge, and it is our job to love." (Andrew Marin, speaking to the National Youth Worker's convention on how to minister to teenagers and others in the gay community)

Tolerance doesn't require me to agree with sexual and other sin, other religions that deny the God I know, politicians who lie about themselves and each other to get elected, or anything else that God disagrees with. But God does require me to love all of those involved. And He always grants me just the right amount of grace to deal with each situation I face in this life.

Ok, so that wasn't so short. And I feel like I could go for a long time and not exhaust the subject. But there's no need for that, because if you want to know more God has all the answers!

What I'm Fighting For

Ok, so I saw someone else do this and was intrigued what would happen if I tried it. Hmmm...I'm posting it, so obviously it was interesting! If you want some fun times, try it yourself with these directions and post it to your Facebook/Blog:

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS! (except if you get a "Track 5" or something in a language you don't know)

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Anthem

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
The One I'm Waiting For

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Morningstar

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Making Memories of Us (so true - working on our wedding album in bits and pieces today)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE
Heart and Soul

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Call On Jesus (WOW!!!)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Holy, Holy, Holy (Not so sure about that one, but anyway)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
More

WHAT IS 2+2?
Majesty

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Beyond Compare (Yup, He sure is!!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE/LOVE?
Wonder of it All (Yes, I am still in awe at all that Nigel is)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
The River

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Strangers in the Night (huh?!?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
It Is Well With My Soul (smiles)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
I Stand For You

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Time That Is Left (not really, but it's appropriate anyway!)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Glory in the Highest (I hope so - it's an amazing worship song)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Good Morning Beautiful (at least Nigel thinks so)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
American Dream

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Parade (Yes, I think it would be a fun parade too!!)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Be My Escape

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
O Holy Night (on Christmas??)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
To Make You Feel My Love

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
I Have A Dream (he he he, yeah, because my dreams are crazy!!!)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
The Name of the Game

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Grace Flows Down (SOOO awesome - as the thing that made me realize I would marry Nigel was the night that he was a human reflection of God's grace to me - not kidding)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
You've Been So Good (not sure about that one...)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Here I Am (Guess I like myself!)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Feeling Like Someone In Love (huh??)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
House of God (yes, especially the house of God I worship at with all the Prop 8, Prop 4, and denominational stuff going on)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
What I'm Fighting For

The hottest topic in CA these days: Part 1

I know it's been a really long time since I posted anything here. Part of it is Facebook, and the fact that I keep in touch with so many of you there. Yet sometimes, I need to write something that's much longer and more important.

I've been debating for a while whether I wanted to write this post or not. I know it might bring very bad things my way. But a very brave friend wrote a very brave message and has inspired me to do the same. And this is my blog, where I can speak my feelings on something and hope that God's truth is the only thing that shines through. So I will take the risk.

I know that many of you who read this are not from California. Though I also know you've probably all heard about the 4 rogue judges who legalized gay marriage this past spring. Well, on the ballot in November is Proposition 8. Here is the text of the Proposition, exactly as it will appear on the ballot:

"Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid and recognized in California."

That's it. It's good and bad. If you show up at the polls and haven't done your research, this may look discriminatory to some (especially here in the Bay Area). And of course, that's what those who oppose it are saying. However, it's not the truth, and there is a lot being left unsaid. A yes vote on Prop. 8, according to http://www.protectmarriage.com , does 3 things:

" * It restores the definition of marriage to what the vast majority of California voters already approved and what Californians agree should be supported, not undermined.

* It overturns the outrageous decision of four activist Supreme Court judges who ignored the will of the people.

* It protects our children from being taught in public schools that “same-sex marriage” is the same as traditional marriage, and prevents other consequences to Californians who will be forced to not just be tolerant of gay lifestyles, but face mandatory compliance regardless of their personal beliefs. "

And there it is, plain and simple. The voters have already, on more than one occasion, voted for traditional marriage. If this doesn't pass, not only will everyone be mandated to be tolerant (read: their definition of tolerance is NOT the same as a biblical definition - it is much broader), but forced into compliance regardless of our personal, religious or otherwise, beliefs. Pastors who refuse to marry gay couples could be sued and their churches could lose their tax exempt status. The Bible could be challenged as hate speech (this is already happening in other countries, as close as Canada). Children will be forced to learn about it in school, regardless of the beliefs of their families. This is already happening in Massachusetts. And freedom of religion will start to be restricted based on outcries of discrimination (also happening in Canada).

The truth: marriage, in cultures across the globe and throughout human history, has
been defined as between one man and one woman. Why would anyone try to argue that? The reassuring factor is that we know in the end by the assurance of God's Word that good triumphs. Yet we also know that the enemies of God will continue to try to gain ground on earth. This is another way that the enemy is trying to gain ground and silence the church.

I am not intolerant. I am not hateful toward gays or supporters of gay marriage. I do hate, however, that because I am a professing, Bible-believing Christian, I'm being lumped into a group that is being labeled a discriminating, lying, homophobic, evil, hateful, closed-minded bunch of bigots. Seriously. I even read of someone who has struggled with thoughts of rear-ending people who have a "Yes on Proposition 8" bumper sticker on their car. Tolerance is what the opposing side says they want. Yet tolerance is a two-way street. I am labeled all these horrible things because I am a Christian. No other reason. I haven't done anything to any of the people labeling me to make them think I am like that. In fact most of them don't know me and never will. I think the actions they are displaying are sad, and grossly unfair, as well as hateful, lying, discriminating, and closed-minded. Just what they're saying about me (and all Christians).

So here's what I DO think and believe. I believe marriage is a sacred, God-ordained covenant between a man and a woman. I believe He created marriage and has the final say on what marriage is. I believe God calls every human being, which He created, to love every other human being.

I think this is a scary time for religious freedom in California, and if Prop. 8 doesn't pass it may set a precedent for much of the country. I am scared to talk about this in public. I've witnessed many people get into hateful, God-dishonoring arguments about it in public places and online. Especially online. I believe in the right to practice one's religion without governmental mandates to silence your beliefs. I believe in freedom of speech.

I believe that morality is mandated by God, not man, and our laws typically reflect the morality and values set forth in God's Word. I believe in the right of all people to visit those they love in the hospital (one of the arguing points of the gay community, saying they are denied this right). I believe that if someone chooses to spend his or her life loving someone of the same sex, that they should get the same legal, health, and tax benefits heterosexual couples do. I also believe it is an eternal issue, and that it is not my place to judge them or point fingers if I don't agree with their choice of lifestyle. I believe it is my obligation to love them and treat them as Jesus would treat them.

There. I said it. The bottom line is the golden rule, which all people regardless of their faith preference seem to agree with: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. And for me, that means treat others the way Jesus would treat them, even if it's sometimes difficult to do so.

I wish there could be more positive dialogue about Proposition 8. The mayor of San Francisco, Gavin Newsom, is spewing the same hateful speech about us that so many others are. Which is making the others do it even more, feeling they are being supported by the mayor. We are not trying to take away equal legal rights for domestic partners (which, by the way, they already have). We are not trying to discriminate. We are trying to keep a sacred, faith-based definition of marriage just that, sacred. Call it a civil union, call it something else. Just leave marriage in it's God-ordained, history proven sense, alone. And let Christians be Christians and practice our faith how we believe it to be.

And at judgement day, we will be rewarded for our standing on the one and only truth:

"Jesus answered, "I am THE way and THE truth and THE life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6 (emphasis mine)

My heart is overjoyed

With a title like that, you all are probably expecting some big announcement from me. Specifically, I know a lot of you are waiting for me to tell you I'm pregnant. Well, I have no big news, and we're still trying. So why am I overjoyed?

My heart is overjoyed because today, for no one reason, I can tangibly, physically feel my Savior's love for me. I felt it in Emma's hugs and kisses as I took care of her today (I pray I have a child that loving). What a blessing to be a caretaker for such a sweet little girl who is just shy of 3 years old.

I felt it when I found out that Arcade Church's women's prayer summit next year is going to be at San Damiano retreat center in Danville, right in my church's backyard! It is also where Nigel proposed. I've been wanting to go every year, as have some of my friends and some women I know from CPC. Amazing, that the opportunity is going to be so close that all of them will be able to say yes!

I felt it when I was reminded of our mission, mine and Nigel's - to share the joy and blessing of worship-based prayer wherever God has us. CPC is doing a series from Nehemiah right now, and there are bricks outside that you can write your name and mission on. Then they are actually being built into a wall. I wrote our names on a brick with worship-based prayer/ There are probably only a handful of people at our large church that have ever even heard of worship-based prayer. But we know God is keeping us at CPC for that mission.

I felt it when I got home from work and saw Nigel so peacefully taking a nap on our bed. What a blessing my husband is! And I really love watching him sleep. I rarely get to, as I'm always out the second my head hits the pillow at night, while he will lie awake for a while usually.

And I felt it again as I am reminded that God loves me, knows the desires of my heart, and will bless us with a child by some means when it is His timing. I do not doubt that for a second.

So, how have you felt God's love today? Something small, or something big? Remember to take enough time to feel it - He's there, waiting for you to pay attention, in every moment of your life.

The town I work in

I want to preface this with a couple things: one, I love Danville and its people for many, many reasons, not the least of which is that those that live there who Nigel and I call friends are wonderful, godly, generous, and kind people that don't really fit in the "Danville mentality" at all. And to tell you the truth, this isn't really so much about Danville itself as it is about any suburb of affluence in America. The root of this post is my frustration with American materialism, and in places like the Bay Area at large and Danville as part of it, materialism rules the day. So please, read this as a larger treatise on American affluence in general and the harm it's causing to the coming generations who in large part don't get to experience family life like it was when I was growing up.

It always astonishes me when I hear wives bashing their husbands, calling them lazy, inconsiderate, and unthoughtful. And bragging about their fancy cars, new houses, remodeling houses that are 10 years or less old, and complaining that their lives are hard and frustrating and unhappy. I hear that a lot, working at an antique shop in Danville, CA. But then I have to take a step back and remember the stereotypical Danville family. So here's a little background on this deceptively charming town for all of you who don't live here.

Danville is a very charming town in the East Bay, particularly the downtown area on Hartz Ave. The shop I work at on Hartz, Sweet Magnolia, is especially cute. It's in an old house built in the 1920's, now a historical landmark. The owners, Jill and Clay, are amazing and have a beautiful style - mostly French country in shades of white, ivory, country blue, sage green, and gray. I wish I could live here - it is exactly ME.

The other shops in the area are just as cute on the outside, and mostly on the inside, too. It really feels like you are stepping back in time when you come here. When I first moved to CA and lived in Danville, it's those things that I loved. It felt more like home to me than typical suburbia.

However, all this charm and beauty is deceptive. A single family home in this area, maybe 3 bedrooms and 2 baths, around 1500 sq ft, will easily run you $800,000, even in the housing slump. But most of the homes here are MUCH larger than that, and therefore buying a house here for under $1 million is rare.

So why do I say Danville has"deceptive charm"? Because underneath all of the beauty, class, carefully groomed appearances (people and buildings), are families that are struggling to hold it together. It is near impossible to make a mortgage payment here without two full-time incomes. And where does that leave many of the kids? In day care, or as they're older, home alone (or without their parents' knowledge not alone) while parents are virtually nonexistent.

It's no wonder the girls in my freshman small group are literally begging for us to set boundaries for them. Boundaries equal safety and security, and in order for these kids to grow up, they need that. At their ages, they can't developmentally make sound decisions like adults because they lack the abstract reasoning necessary to see consequences and ripple effects, much less care about what those consequences might be.

And the school system here is tough on the students. First graders come home with 2-3 hours of homework a night. So where does that leave high schoolers? With more homework than one night will allow, every night, weekend, holiday, break, and summer vacation. Yup, they get assignments for their new classes in the fall to start over the summer. So even if they happen to be in one of the fortunate families where at least one of their parents are home even a good part of the time, they are so bogged down with homework that there is no time left for any kind of family life. And forget the days of high achievers getting a 4.0. Today, for a CA student to get accepted into a CA university, they need GPAs in the range of 4.6+. That means advanced, weighted, often college-level classes with even MORE homework.

And I didn't even mention the enormous expectations of coaches and arts directors for those kids who are talented in athletics, art, music, or drama. And you know what really stinks about that? You have to be really talented to even take part in most of the extra curricular activities because there is so much competition. If you want to play soccer, you better start when you're 7 or 8 so that by the time you're in junior high you're good enough to make a team. What happened to trying things and being involved in things just because you enjoy them even if you're not the best, fastest, or prettiest/most handsome? And again, only well-rounded students (unless they are in a racial minority) get accepted into CA schools. The pressure is far too high for students today to not just perform, but excell. They don't even get to enjoy being a kid anymore.

So why do people live here? Materialism. Status. Proximity to wonderful things: 45 minutes to Napa Valley, 45 minutes to the ocean, 30 minutes to San Francisco, 3.5 hours to Lake Tahoe (where many have cabins, mind you), 3 hours to Yosemite, and an $80 round trip flight to LA and all of its "wonders".

Yes, I am a true small town country girl from the middle of nowhere, trying to make sense of this area God has us living in, even though Nigel and I feel very out of place. And trying to minister to severely hurting kids. The problem is, I cannot replace their parents. They drop their kids off with the expectation that all their spiritual teaching comes from us, while never having conversations about anything with their kids at home. It's hard, hard, hard, heartbreaking work for us.

Yet it is a calling, so with God's wisdom and strength I press on, doing what I am able to do with these girls. I love them and want to see them turn into godly, humble women that God can use greatly. So even when the uphill battle seems too impossible to win, I remember that God's strength and amazing ways are far greater than anything I could do on my own. After all, look at me and what He's done for me. I was at my absolute worst and He picked me up and made me new. What an awesome and amazing God I serve. And my faith in Him and His divine and unfathomable ways keeps us at CPC and keeps me working in Danville as well, even though at times we feel like we are on another planet.

Humility, sacrifice, and marriage

I am going through a Beth Moore study on Daniel with the women's ministry at my church. It's pretty amazing, and really stretches the brain, which I love. But in the midst of all the prophecies, kings, kings, and more kings, and end-time events, there are some solid, amazing lessons for life. This may take two posts, so I'll start with what I've learned this past week.

The video to begin week 11 (studying Daniel 11) talked about sacrifice vs. selfishness. Satan is constantly trying to get all of us to give up the sacrificial life. For "it is only in losing ourselves that we truly find ourselves," and Satan doesn't want us to know the truth about who we are in Christ and what good we are capable of doing in the world we live in. Beth Moore said that if we miss the sacrificial life we will miss our calling. Wow! I definitely don't want that to happen. I want to fully live as God intends for me to live, on a daily basis in all that I say and do.

She also said that sacrifice has to come at great cost to us. That's where I really began to apply what was being said. For most of us, the "cost" is our pride, though it could be something much more. We want it to be quick and easy, to give (monetarily or in service) out of our excess, not where it's hard. Here is a quote she included from C.S. Lewis: "Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind." I have been saying for years that I believe pride leads to every other sin, not knowing that C.S. Lewis said the same thing. Pride precedes greed, lust, stealing, cheating, and any other sin you can think of. Selfish pride. And we all have it.

Here's a practical application that most of you women that I know will appreciate. How does America portray a man who asks his wife to do something for him, even something small like get him a glass of water? Lazy, controlling, and womanizing. Hmmm. Interesting that we would hear that so often, yet it's SO WRONG! Explains where my instant subconscious defensiveness, though unfounded, comes from every time Nigel asks me to do something. Stubborn, selfish pride, fueled by our annoying and deceptive media.

I applied what I learned in the Bible study: sacrifice, true sacrifice, has to cost something. For me that is often pride. So I swallowed that pride and went our of my way to do extra things for Nigel this week. And I discovered something: it makes me like myself a lot more. I also discovered in the midst of it this week that Nigel's love language is acts of service. And all of a sudden all the puzzle pieces fell into place - he is always hoping that I'll do things before he asks me to, because it makes him feel loved. And when I don't, or grumble a little at doing something, it actually hurts him. Talk about switching my motivation! It's a lot easier to do things for someone when the result is that they feel extra loved.

Here is a little excerpt from fivelovelanguages.com about acts of service:

"Sometimes simple chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. Even simple things like laundry and taking out the trash require some form of planning, time, effort, and energy. Just as Jesus demonstrated when he washed the feet of his disciples, doing humble chores can be a very powerful expression of love and devotion to your mate.

Very often, both pairs in a couple will speak to the Acts of Service Language. However, it is very important to understand what acts of service your mate most appreciates. Even though couples are helping each other around the house, couples will still fight because the are unknowingly communicating with each other in two different dialects. For example, a wife may spend her day washing the cars and walking the dog, but if her husband feels that laundry and dishes are a superior necessity, he may feel unloved, despite the fact that his wife did many other chores throughout the day. It is important to learn your mate’s dialect and work hard to understand what acts of service will show your love.

It is important to do these acts of service out of love and not obligation. A mate who does chores and helps out around the house out of guilt or fear will inevitably not be speaking a language of love, but a language of resentment. It’s important to perform these acts out of the kindness of your heart.

Demonstrating the acts of service can mean stepping out of the stereotypes. Acts of service require both mates to humble themselves into doing some chores and services that aren’t usually expected from their gender. However, these little sacrifices will mean the world to your mate, and will ensure a happy relationship."

Now, I need to get Nigel to read the chapter on words of affirmation, because as it turns out, words definitely make or break my day. How do people like Gary Chapman come up with this stuff? I am thankful to God for leading him to write that book. It is sure helping my relationships! And my marriage to the most wonderful and humble man on earth.

My website is up!

I just finished my website for my design stuff. Actually, I discovered that I didn't have to have a .Mac account (a service you pay for) to create a website in iWeb. I love Macs!! In just under 5 hours (including testing, fixing, and republishing) I had a website done. It's great! Granted, if I could afford it, I would get one designed in my fave colors of blue and brown to match my logo, but this is free!

Check it out, and let me know what you think!

Jax Digital Design .com

or

Jackie Clemonds .com

I also have a blog there, which will be only about my design stuff. I may duplicate the posts here though. Have a great day!

My first album order!

I have my first album order as of last week. It's for a wedding I'm going to assist shooting on March 1. It's a start! I am very excited. I've also generated quite a bit of interest in my designs lately, so now it's just a matter of following up with all the contacts and marketing my work.

In the meantime, I'm working on a full website with galleries for my designs. It's very time-consuming, but with my new iMac everything is getting done faster!! Did I mention I FINALLY got a Mac? It's AMAZING!!!! What a difference it is making for me. A nice 20" widescreen LCD monitor saves on my eyes, and the idea of no more laptop is saving on my neck and back. Not to mention how fast it is!

Also, I've been very busy on more page designs. Here is one of my faves right now (and a shot of myself that I absolutely love as well). If you click on the image it will take you to the PicasaWeb album where there are some more.

From Nigel & Jacki...

I'll keep you all posted as I get more work done!

Christmas 2007

Click above image to view the album from our snowy Christmas adventure.