The town I work in

I want to preface this with a couple things: one, I love Danville and its people for many, many reasons, not the least of which is that those that live there who Nigel and I call friends are wonderful, godly, generous, and kind people that don't really fit in the "Danville mentality" at all. And to tell you the truth, this isn't really so much about Danville itself as it is about any suburb of affluence in America. The root of this post is my frustration with American materialism, and in places like the Bay Area at large and Danville as part of it, materialism rules the day. So please, read this as a larger treatise on American affluence in general and the harm it's causing to the coming generations who in large part don't get to experience family life like it was when I was growing up.

It always astonishes me when I hear wives bashing their husbands, calling them lazy, inconsiderate, and unthoughtful. And bragging about their fancy cars, new houses, remodeling houses that are 10 years or less old, and complaining that their lives are hard and frustrating and unhappy. I hear that a lot, working at an antique shop in Danville, CA. But then I have to take a step back and remember the stereotypical Danville family. So here's a little background on this deceptively charming town for all of you who don't live here.

Danville is a very charming town in the East Bay, particularly the downtown area on Hartz Ave. The shop I work at on Hartz, Sweet Magnolia, is especially cute. It's in an old house built in the 1920's, now a historical landmark. The owners, Jill and Clay, are amazing and have a beautiful style - mostly French country in shades of white, ivory, country blue, sage green, and gray. I wish I could live here - it is exactly ME.

The other shops in the area are just as cute on the outside, and mostly on the inside, too. It really feels like you are stepping back in time when you come here. When I first moved to CA and lived in Danville, it's those things that I loved. It felt more like home to me than typical suburbia.

However, all this charm and beauty is deceptive. A single family home in this area, maybe 3 bedrooms and 2 baths, around 1500 sq ft, will easily run you $800,000, even in the housing slump. But most of the homes here are MUCH larger than that, and therefore buying a house here for under $1 million is rare.

So why do I say Danville has"deceptive charm"? Because underneath all of the beauty, class, carefully groomed appearances (people and buildings), are families that are struggling to hold it together. It is near impossible to make a mortgage payment here without two full-time incomes. And where does that leave many of the kids? In day care, or as they're older, home alone (or without their parents' knowledge not alone) while parents are virtually nonexistent.

It's no wonder the girls in my freshman small group are literally begging for us to set boundaries for them. Boundaries equal safety and security, and in order for these kids to grow up, they need that. At their ages, they can't developmentally make sound decisions like adults because they lack the abstract reasoning necessary to see consequences and ripple effects, much less care about what those consequences might be.

And the school system here is tough on the students. First graders come home with 2-3 hours of homework a night. So where does that leave high schoolers? With more homework than one night will allow, every night, weekend, holiday, break, and summer vacation. Yup, they get assignments for their new classes in the fall to start over the summer. So even if they happen to be in one of the fortunate families where at least one of their parents are home even a good part of the time, they are so bogged down with homework that there is no time left for any kind of family life. And forget the days of high achievers getting a 4.0. Today, for a CA student to get accepted into a CA university, they need GPAs in the range of 4.6+. That means advanced, weighted, often college-level classes with even MORE homework.

And I didn't even mention the enormous expectations of coaches and arts directors for those kids who are talented in athletics, art, music, or drama. And you know what really stinks about that? You have to be really talented to even take part in most of the extra curricular activities because there is so much competition. If you want to play soccer, you better start when you're 7 or 8 so that by the time you're in junior high you're good enough to make a team. What happened to trying things and being involved in things just because you enjoy them even if you're not the best, fastest, or prettiest/most handsome? And again, only well-rounded students (unless they are in a racial minority) get accepted into CA schools. The pressure is far too high for students today to not just perform, but excell. They don't even get to enjoy being a kid anymore.

So why do people live here? Materialism. Status. Proximity to wonderful things: 45 minutes to Napa Valley, 45 minutes to the ocean, 30 minutes to San Francisco, 3.5 hours to Lake Tahoe (where many have cabins, mind you), 3 hours to Yosemite, and an $80 round trip flight to LA and all of its "wonders".

Yes, I am a true small town country girl from the middle of nowhere, trying to make sense of this area God has us living in, even though Nigel and I feel very out of place. And trying to minister to severely hurting kids. The problem is, I cannot replace their parents. They drop their kids off with the expectation that all their spiritual teaching comes from us, while never having conversations about anything with their kids at home. It's hard, hard, hard, heartbreaking work for us.

Yet it is a calling, so with God's wisdom and strength I press on, doing what I am able to do with these girls. I love them and want to see them turn into godly, humble women that God can use greatly. So even when the uphill battle seems too impossible to win, I remember that God's strength and amazing ways are far greater than anything I could do on my own. After all, look at me and what He's done for me. I was at my absolute worst and He picked me up and made me new. What an awesome and amazing God I serve. And my faith in Him and His divine and unfathomable ways keeps us at CPC and keeps me working in Danville as well, even though at times we feel like we are on another planet.